Done my journal, econs homework (DAMN TOUGH) and am gonna read through my textbook for my outline test for ESL407 tomorrow.


School is okay, but I keep having stupid thoughts in my mind. I keep feeling insecure, I am afraid that I will be abandoned. I dont know why.

PSY project due next next week I guess. Completed research for empirical articles. Just gotta get approved by Sugy.


Schools a pain, because I have to brain storm on what to wear everyday.
UNIFORMS PLEASE(:


I think I will miss Uncle Chew when he leave UB.





Weekend was ok with M booking out at 11.30am on a cloudy Saturday. Met at Outram and went down to Cityhall for Shokudo. Spicy Ramen, chicken chop with omu rice, fried egg with mushroom and cheese. Macha float.

YUMMAYES.


Went to his place for a movie, dined with his family, cherry jubilee by his dad. (Cherries with orange liqueur and brandy, simmered in high flames) G the alcoholic may like it ~ HAHA.

& I woke up feeling sick due to the curry his mum cooked I guess):

Thanks for the two boxes of Strepsils and a box of panaflu ^^
(Im so glad its not tamiflu)

Sick sick. And slept so much.




I always feel emo on Sundays):




BUT I WILL TRY TO BE HAPPY ALWAYS!(:


& oh, be a good platoon IC!


Bused with * yesterday. Was just asking whats her GPA and why UB. And she told me that she got 3.42 but local uni rejected her.



Fucking bad mood today, (SORRY ROS) cos the PSY test 2 was so tough, not like the first test. AND I know that I didnt study hard enough. Which is not good. Which is bad. Which means I still have 3 more chances to go before it goes into my final grade. ( Best 4 out of 5 ) 2 down 3 more to go.

Dinnered with Jae yesterday. (I finally recovered from my flu and we are suppose to meet up like 1month plus ago) Mugged while she read through her drama books at Kovan Macs.

Jae has just officially graduated from NIE, and she is posted to KC!(: Happy for you :D
& we went crazy at certain periods of time with her questioning me if the girls behind me are les (NO!) & I manage to get a job just due to that meeting with her! Im hired as a Chinese tutor for her P2 brother. LOL! & I will be going over at 4pm later. She said that I was an answered prayer since she has been praying for a Chinese tutor for her brother awhile ago.

Well I wont say that Im certified la. But at least Im someone she can trust, with patience and knows Chinese. & got an A for Chinese. LOL~ (According to her) GOSH, Im flattered. LOL!


Uncle Chew may be leaving for NIE soon. Most likely and he was like asking me to leave with him. Idk. I like where Im now. I feel attached to the school, the learning style and some friends. I just feel that we shouldnt leave a place just like that, esp when you are excelling and doing well. LEAVE FOR WHAT. Continue to excel it UB, get a 3.5 GPA go do advanced Honours in UB(USA) la. Or best, aim for a summa cum laude (First class honours). I dont see whats so bad about staying on. And whats so good about leaving. & certainly whats so good about being in a local uni. Seriously. Uncle Chew do you understand liao? Thats what I wanna tell you, which I couldnt think of to say when I see you in school. If you are afraid that we cant get a job in Singapore, let me tell you this. UB's School of Management is along side with NTU BIZ School in the world's ranking, or even better. Why are you so afraid that we will have no prospects? Dont you think that these fears are redundant? A degree is a window to jobs, but whether anot you get it is via your interview. Some people can speak well they get it. Some cant, too bad? Our school have programmes like COMS1 and COMS 2 to help prepare us for all these so you dont have to worry.
Ros, i wonder if you agree with me if you are manage to read this post.


We should be proud of whatever we do. Only then can we yield successes and gain confidence.



Sometimes I just feel that this society is so shallow. Our upbringing and constant brainwashing has made us fear. Unneccessarily. Which leads to unneccesary stress, heart attacks, stroke whatever not.

FOR WHAT??
Just chill and embrace the sun and stars.


I feel so ashame with many stuff, which makes me more determined to succeed.
Sometimes I feel that Ive got a psychological problem!!


School was good esp with my fave Ros, Denise, TL and Benjamin. Funny da ge and V.




Was highly distracted by Ms Ros today with BGR conversations in between Econs (EEKS).
I seriously feel that we are kinda in the same plight. In terms of the BF-brain haven grow up-super unromantic-damn blur-. But apart from that I guess the both of us are very glad for each other that we have good boyfriends(: I really think that Ros' Bf is damn sweet and nice to you know, save up for her trip to NY while he goes over to UB. (BUT GIRL, You are staying in Singapore with me, unless we are going tgt, its a different story!) I am happy that we have non conflicting conversations while talking abt our bfs. & I have a feeling they will be getting married soon like in 2-3 years time. (Dont say NO Ros). Ok lets seee.

UNIVERSITY OF BUFFALO IS IN NEW YORKKK
COOOOOOOOOOLIO!!!!!

I want to shop till I drop!(:


HI HO HI HO, its off to work I go. Go tutor lo!(: Wish me luck!(:



Note to self:
Really should stop slacking at home, and study more.
Close Benjamin's door lightly.
Eat lesser.


I hate it when friends predict my results for me, or calls me a nerd):

In my opinion, other then studying, there is nothing much I can do in life.
Pak tor
Makan
Go bitching with friends (Usually the 2)
As and when after school hanging around.


I really hope I get to have a very good friend in school. Someone whom I can really rely on. Catch me while I fall. Cause my situation now is that, Im not allowed to fall, cos` no one there is really there to catch me.

TL, Rose, Denise, Benjamin. These are the 4 that are more then just acquiantances now.


Is it true that I dont trust people easily?


Choir Concert Reflections 10 with my favourite people in Choir (Minus M, he arrived only when the concert ended. SWEY!) on Friday. Was thrilled to see them after 7 months ^^ What a long gap in between in.

Nono clique, we got to meet up like at least once in 2-3 months la. 7 months is too much liao):

Heke, Chunnie, Bear, Bry, Xiumin and M(:
Suppered after concert at Glutton's Bay. Chicken wings, teh tarik, satay, banana fondue, roti kaya guyoo, hokkien mee, black and white carrot cake, mee goreng, coke.
Didnt manage to take a photo with them):

Felt rather nostalgic after the choir concert, which makes me rather moltivated to sing in the alumni choir next year. I have no idea why I rejected to sing this year.
I will always remember the late night dinners, talk cock sing song session with each other, how our clique slowly expanded... LOL. Love you clique!(: Muacksmuacks!(:

Dinner with M's family on Sat at the Big fish!(Around East Coast)

Walkwalk to the car. Carian is missing. LOL! Wonder who is M holding!!



Thank you G dearie for that 'letter', thank you for those smses. I really love you dearie. Really cherish you too.

Thank you to GF's babeh for knocking some sense into me.

Thank you GF for your sms. YOU DO WELL IN YOUR WORK AND EARN TONS OF MONEY! HUAT AHH~

Thank you Shaoxun for everything too, I wonder what will happen to me without you and your wise old advices.

Yesterday was screwed, for I dont know, alot of crap which shouldnt exist.

Lets not talk about it. Im ok now, with the help of some friends. Thank God~

Thank you for giving me a lift Benjamin Soh ^^
Although you keep suanning me and all.

I was being damn kiasu today during Econs. Instuctor asked about the number of people who read her handouts for Price Elasticity Demand. Only a few read (Lucky them) Cause those who read got extra marks for participation. (DAMN). Obviously Carian Tham didnt read although she placed it on her table, while she carried on with her PSY and Econs revision (I dont know if its a good thing anot). In the end she said sth like
"I didnt close the marks booklet, which means those who want marks can get it through answering qns."
Immediately I volunteered to ans qns and was making a spectacle of myself by
"Can I have marks!!!???"
Instructor: Yesyes, later.
I thought she would have forgetten about it, in addition to it, a few others answered her qns too. But only I got the extra marks. So it means that I am on par with the people who read her article! HAHAHA. Cheapthrill. KIASU KIASI ME. HEEHEE.

"I hope it serves as a moltivation for you"
DAMN, would it be a signal telling me that I will do not so ok for my Econs Quiz!? NOOOOOO. She doesnt know my name, she wouldnt have know that its me.
HAHA.

Uncle Chew(TL) and uncle Benjamin(Benjamin Soh) went like this on the car
"You are damn childish la, only primary 1 students would do that"
Me: I DONT CARE LOR, GOT MARKS OK LIAO!
B: I will use the unordodox way to get my A.
Me: I will have both marks and unordodox!
TL: Let her la, she is still young la, 19 only what you expect!

LOL.

They are like one of the funniest people I know aside from Mings and a few others. HAHA.

And the other day I just had sex education from Sugy my English classmate while the gang of us were sitting down at Ngee Ann Poly's foodcourt. DAMN R(A) MY GOD. Roselind jie was protecting me all the way to prevent me from being polluted. What can we expect. Majority of them are above their 20s. Mostly 21 and 23. I am shocked with their openness. OR RATHER, Sugy's openness. LOL.

I feel so sad afer reading Bff's bloggy. HAIZ. Anything sms me/call/tag k. I dont know how to help you leh, except to hear you rant, but so far you dont rant to me de. Always I rant to you. BOOO!

AND YES, G, I wont wanna only look forward to that 2/7 of the week. I wanna be happy. AND live my life to the fullest.





I wish upon all the stars and rocks and moon and clouds that my dear will be fine. & please let her get it.

Its the weekends again. I realised that I have been living for the weekends ever since Jan. TL thinks that I need to lead my own live and stop allowing people to revolve around me. I should be independent and I should live for myself. But how? He is the reason why I pick up myself to start all over again. Ok, starting all over again is not the right word to use.

Son got into Dentistry. My heart is filled with happiness for her. O into Medicine. Baby got multiple offers, Dearie G (Im happy for you). R into aerospace and Xm Accountancy. I just gathered that people with ABC still hadnt gotten a placing yet.

Heard from a couple of people that there are straight Bs who didnt get into Biz, and refused to do SMU since SMU is following the American system, and that UB will be a better alternative for those who wanna pursue an American cert in Singapore, since we are the only School of Management from America located in Singapore that attained top 10 in the world. I guess UB and TJ is similar, they lack the branding and beautiful advertising, but yet they are reputable. OH well. Random thoughts.

The thing that really upsets me is the fac that, right, no matter where you are you can always see super competitive people, who claims that they dont study, but ______________________________________________. Darl and G laughed like siao when I told them this.

Ugly humans. That includes me, I dont deny. But I dont hide from others if I studied. STUDY THEN STUDY LA. WHY MUST HIDE. This is crazy.

CARIAN HEREBY ANNOUNCES TO HER READERS THAT SHE STUDIES. SHE IS KANCHEONG ABOUT HER STUDIES!!! (:
Come on, how can you not study when you are in Singapore. SIAO.

No doubt I still feel kinda inferior around some people. But recently it kinda make me realise that the kinda of people whom lies and make worthless claims that makes you feel damn inferior and worthless are actually those who are worst off or more inferior than you do.

Read newspaper clippings, to help improve my Eng. Sent Shaoxun my wise old bff my essay to read and check out, I guess he is just trying to be nice and not comment much=x
Bff, lets webcam soon!(: Come, I shall put a photo of you here, to show the whole wide world your face.

You look uncle-ish lor!! HAHA (:


Chatting with SX now. Apparently, the both of us are feeling the same thing now.

Pain, agony. Speechlessness.

I trust that our r/s will be stable, however I feel that I shouldnt be subjected to such pains.
What are they trying to do, make all Singaporean males single? Make girls aged between 18-21 independent and able to concentrate in their studies?

From 80% attached in the company to now about 7-10? Or even lesser now. & counting.
How can someone survive in a r/s without contacting someone who is in the same sunny island as you for more then 13hours everyday. Sometimes up to 17hours.

What are they just trying to do?

I fucking miss my boyfriend.


Edited at 9.45pm
I succumbed into temptations eventually. Ran out to meet my bitches and had a wonderful time with them. Really. 3 hearts and kisses to you 2.
xoxoxo.



ITS ME! HAHA:D

Firstly I would like to tell both my bitches G and GF, <333

I DAMNDAMNDAMNDAMNDAMNDAMN miss the both of them right now. HAIZ.
I wonder if you both can ever understand how I feel now. Its been so long since we last met LA!

Then there is Shaoxun that I miss alot right now. Jae, and Joy. My 3 very close teachers colleague I had a few weeks ago. " The only thing permanent now is change" Every single one of us are heading towards different paths right now. Me, pursuing my degree, Shaoxun. still working as a RT, heading to Uni soon too in Aug. Jae, successfully grad from NIE, teaching at KC. Joy, being happy doing whatever she pleases. A few months ago, we were all together eating breakfast together. Everything has ended.

I missed my students too. Those whom I scolded, joked... with. Although its just 4 months, I guess there are pretty much memories about them. Since I was a silent leaver. I bet many of them werent aware by now that I was no longer part of the AMKSIAN family anymore.

Hanged out with R, Xm and Zx yest at Shokudo. Chatted. Bought a top from Esprit. Homed. Meeting the 2 girls for swimming this Fri to keep fit keep fit yo. At M's condo swimming pool. (Why did I choose that place?)

I miss Darl, G dearie, Shaoxun, Jae, Joy, Xinmei, R, Selina Patra (How to contact you when you are in India!!), my long time friend Huijuan (She Mia-ed) ALOT. AHHHHHHH!

I missed you too M.

Last weekend, icecreamed with M at udders and went to cheong at Cityhalls Macs while he watched "Wicked" on his Ipod. So shuang some people. Went for Jap buffet with his family at Momoya at night to celebrate Mother's Day in advance. Apparently his bro and I were down with a flu. The next day, I was well! But his bro and Maple fell ill):



Rum rum raisin and Earl Grey flavours(:


HEE, me with school shirt, cheongster, bring work out to do! >.<




Cut bangs! LOL! At Momoya having Jap Buffet with M and his family <3


Courtesy to M's mum for this picture >.<
Bought 3 roses (the softtoy kinds) for both our mums and his grandma (We went to his Grandpa's on Sunday, courtesy to give her something too!) and had the legendary chio maggi minced pork soup thingy nicenice cooked by his ex chef grandpa(:
Went back to Cityhall to mug, but change venue taa, we went Starbucks to inhale all the stars. HAHA. Me mug, him playing DS. SO UNFAIR! HAHA.

Initially I couldnt have dinner with him, and he was damn sad (He books in at 9pm, if I were to leave for dinner, I would have to leave him around 5plus) M was so sad, sad sad cutecute face (LOL!) But in the end I surprised him by giving his mum a call that I will be taking him for Mum's Day celebration with my family and that my dad will send him to camp (SUNGEI GEDONG! Boonlay, further then NTU, FARFARFAR!) And yupps, courtesy of mommsies and popsies, M and I get to be tgt till about 8.30pm instead of 5plus pm. (Carian is always full of surprises, right M?)

And oh I kinda coincidentally wear the same colour outfit as CW today. DAMN! Who wears orange top and khaki bottom? I mean its common to wear jeans and some random coloured top right. But just so coincidentally we wore the same bright orange top and dull khaki bottom o.0
TL was teasing me like mad. TSKKK! I think CW suspect liao lor. BUT NO LA, I only love Mervyn Ye Baoyang ok! BUT, there is no harm having eyecandies right (M knows I have eyecandies as and when. LOL!). But really la, UB doesnt have much cute or goodlooking guys. IM SERIOUS):

SHIT, I feel that Im balding at an exponential rate. I keep seeing hair fall when I condition my hair):

CONGRATS TO Mervyn Ye~ For being accepted into Double degree Accountancy and Computing Science. [ I want you to get into NTU Accountancy lehs! ] Yupp, and I know my baby will go do what I want(: Nono, not manipulation, its just that we both wanna settle down eariler (His mum ask us too.. LOL!) & when I say settle down eariler, I mean after we obtain our honours, get a job and yeah. So dont get me wrong. See, if M pursues his dd, it would take us about 8-9 years before we settle down. I mean, those who know about the 5 years r/s thing will probably agree with me.
AND GAHH! I missed the wedding of Shawn and Michelle Chia. Many people watched it and said it was good, beautiful, sweet and stuff.

I have no hurry to get married fast. I just wanna the both of us to finish our education fast. AHAHAS, at least we know we are secured with a Hons(:

All the best darl for the reply thingy. & G! We might be campus mates. Not school mates as our uni will be different. LOL <333

Ok, time to study psy 101. LOVES.

I kept your ring at a very special place this time. Its next to mine, strapped up by the same thin silver necklace.


Rather bored. Is my every Friday gonna be liddat for a sem?=x

Hair cut most probably later with myself when I feel like it, or when I manage to at least finish half of module 1.2.

Im really bored.

Sidenote: I bought 3 textbooks for all 3 of my modules this sem. Cost me $150 after student's discount. Most probably selling it as second hand after I finish my modules. DAMN, if Im gotta buy textbooks for all modules (It is required) I will really go bankrupt. & this is the first time after 2years I gotta buy so many textbooks (3 is many, relatively). EEKS.


I dont know, but I seriously feel that as humans we tend to like to find excuses for ourselves. Although there are already facts pinpointing our faults, we tend to find excuses for ourselves. Reason? Pride. Gawd.

ALRIGHTEEE.

School has been alrightee for me. Hanged out with 3 of my orientation mates. We are currently doing fine. Guess we kinda need more time to know each other better thats all(;

Tues was the first day of my school. Entered the gates with a heavy heart. Anticipation? Anxiety? Fear? Mixture of each. Gawd, Im taking Psychology, Advanced English I(ESL 407) and Microeconomics for this sem. I got waivers for 2 maths modules due to Alevels. & I must say ESL is kinda of the same standard with GP): *Shoot me please* Or maybe we go more into depth. Econs is o.0 CHIM SIA. Catch abit no ball, but its ok. Shall self-internalise everyday with my textbooks and notes. PSY 101 is -.- You can see students shooting off their ideas, the stance they have regarding philosophical issues. EG: Determinsm VS free-will, Nature VS Natured, The Mind-Brain problem. Learned about Monism (Conscious feeling by the brain) and Dualism (The mind is seperated with the physical brain and there for the rest of the body). COME ON! Who learns such things!?!?!

I must say Im rather impressed with all the big bros and sis (Im one of the youngest in class, say maybe second youngest) ESP the poly grads, who have undergone PSY already. The impressive fact is that they are able to site of facts easily. AND THEN there will be some people(JC peeps, army guys who have ORDED) who got a C for Econs but didnt manage to get it waived this module raising up their hands participating so much in class that most of us without Econs prequisites "HUH?~" all the way. SIBEI SIAN. So discouraging. There are tons of smart people around me. [But the only reason why they seem smarter then me is probably because they have done that subject before] SIANX. I guess the only subject I can actively participate is ESL. OH WELL OH WELLS.

WORK HARDER CARIAN! I AM SO GONNA BE A CHAO MUGGER AND GET MY 3.5 WHOOSH!~ & Happily get my Magna cum laude and fly to UB. WHAHAHAHAS.
I shall mugg damn hard & do damn well(:

Slight edits to my timetable:
Revised
Monday: 9.-10.30 ESL 407
Tuesday:9-10.30 Psy101 11.45-1.45 ECO182
Wednesday: 9-10.30 ESL 407
Thursday: SAME AS TUES.
Friday: NO SCHOOL! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

OK time to go study, mummy scolding me liaos. Strict strict):


IM SUCH AN UGLY MONSTER.

I MISSED MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL BECAUSE I MIXED UP MY CLASS TIMETABLE CLASS NAME& ETC. AHHH!

Why is the Electronic Board so complicated to read. Cheong to call up the academic manager to enquire what should I do next.
" Never mind, first day of school many people enter and withdraw"
"I will help you inform your instructor, dont worry"
"It will not affect your GPA."

Im so kiasu I feel, but cant blame la, first day of school and I kinda screwed it up liaos):

IM SO WORRIED I MAY SCREW UP AGAIN.

Please, I dont wanna screw anything again!
& so I will be slacker today. NO school, NO work.


YO HO!~~

The labour day weekend was rather a good one(: YAYNESSS.

First up was dinner at Xingwang Hongkong cafe to celebrate our 2 years anniversary w/ pasta and fish, crispy fish soup, milk tea and sandwiches(: It was quite a good night/dinner after not meeting for 4 days and the car ride took about 2h since it was jamming at PIE ):

M's mum and I went to pick him up that faithful day, and haha I was like discussing with her where should I hide the Ipod. In the end we planned to hide in under the front seat. & I said my " EH! I think I dropped something under the chair" crap. & M so didnt fall for it. OH WELL. The funniest thing was that M's mum stopped the car just for me to hop down to return back to the passenger seats to place the gift 100m away from the Armour School. DAMN FUNNY CAN.




HUGEHUGE, YUMMY TOO!

DRUMROLLS!

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.
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.
.

YAY!
Thank you cliqueclique and M(:

Made popiah today. Thanks Momma for waking up early in the morning to do the marketing while the both of us took our own sweet time to wake up at 12 >.<
Kuku M!

M's!
And so we had popiah and speg today for lunch and dinner. HEEHEE. AND BYE! M gottta book in!):

There just gotta be people around me that is trying to make the world so messy. No wonder there are wars in this world, and not peace instead. If you are so good, do it, prove it to yourself, to the world! (Not me though) BUT even if you failed, I wont laugh at you like how you did it to me.
Thanks darl for the emotional therapy.

SCHOOL TOMO. *Hiccups!* Bringing my chio Numnum tomo with lion softtoy pencil case<33


HAPPY 2 YEARS ANNIVERSARY DEARDEE! (: <33

I guess the details can be skipped. & Im glad you love the Ipod Nano I gave you as well as the ppt slides I have prepared for you<33
Thank you for the hand made card in camp as well as the lit up 'I <3>

Thank you for making today this 24 months anniversary possible.

Hairjob today with Xinmei after work. I dyed and highlighted my hair, while XM dyed her entire head. XM was happy cause her hair finally has colour(: Unlike the previous time when we did our hair at Jean Yip.
The hairdresser found out that I was actually the girlfriend of Mervyn's mum younger son after aunty Wendy came into the shop several hours later to visit me and my hair and there was this cute commotion.

Hairdresser: "WO DE TIAN AH! YUAN LAI TA SHI NI DE ER ZI DE NU PENG YOU!"
Aunty: DUI LOR.
H: NA GE HONG TOU FA DE AH? DA HEN KE AI! ( That red hair guy huh? He is very cute! ) Aunty: BU SHI LA, WO DE XIAO ER ZI. (No la, my younger son) H: WO DE TIAN AH, RU GUO WO SHI DAO NI MEN REN SHI, WO YI DING HUI GENG CHAO DAI NI. (If I knew you guys know each other, I would have given you better service)
LOL, SO RUBBISH.

And my hair looks a lill darker then usual with random streaks here and there. Shall wash it more to let the colour come out more ba(:
His mum is back from Hainan Island with a Guess wallet, matching leather wallet for the both of us and a polo T for me. Not forgetting our Bombay Sapphire. I found out that its actually another type of alcohol. Gin with 47% which means it has a higher alcoholic level then volka. & yay, we both have 2 bottles on his piano now!(:
In my opinion, gin tastes much better then volka. Really much better, at least it doesnt have a nail vanish smell and taste according to Shaoxun.

Last day of work for Subway and teaching on Wed and Thurs respectively and I am officially a full term student=x SCARY!
Things to note:
Pens, pencils, highlighters
Boxfile
Cute notebook and calender diary from Raffles City NDC
My NUM voucher! o.0
M's Ipod pouch
Clothes!

Love always dear.

Written by; ♥cariann

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