Really regretted cutting my hair, I look like a monster now. My fringe is so short and my hair looks lopsided and the length is shorten. Carian is sad. Shouldnt have cut it la.

Went for choir today(: Prac for ABRSM on Monday, Choir's first ever Choral exam. Mr Yusof reshuffered the choir today. Im standing in the middle front row! YAY! Carian is made useful again!(: I like to be ego whenever singing comes to concern la. *AHEMS*
Many of my juniors were like staring and looking at me whenever we get too sharp, cos Im always the one singing the loudest and the sharpest and the worst la. Babyface keep laughing at me when I sing too loud. HAIZ, my fault ar? Luckily Steffy came to my rescue and gave her this angry look. THANKS SUGAR(: I didnt give you my classcom badge for nth ar? *WINKS*
Whalao damn embarassing la, I was forced to tone down so as not to affect my section, then I was controlling my voice and trying to really use more of my diaphragm to make my voice more supported la. Mr Jusof was like. ERM Carian are you ok? I was like yah? Then he say that I keep pulling my skirt and he tot I needed to pee or sth. GOSH. People Trying to control my loudness then somemore so jingzhang thats why I pull my skirt, but then again, Steffy commented that the way I was pulling my skirt looks a lill obscence. GOSH. This is SO embarassing. At the end of the prac he said thank you to me for making the effort of singing softly. LOL. ALTOS ar altos, you guys must really perk up, otherwise Carian have to sing weirdly everytime you guys are too soft. I miss my seniors, they have this super blasting voice, and imagine me singing loudly too, haha. Thats why 2003SYF was very loud la=X

Very soon I will be stepping down, somewhere this month ba. No more chance to sing with them le. Ok la, shall sing softly and sweetly. HAIZ. I need to be in a more competitive and hardcore choir; otherwise I can never sing my best again. My voice quality has declined. NO more nice music from me to my sissy for a veh long while.

Met family at heartland before cutting my hair. Erna, my maid, snipped her long hair short to shoulder length. About 4 inches off her head. WOW. She is brave I tell you. Whereas people like me wailing when the person cutting my hair. I scared they go cut my length la!): Went dinner and got back home at 940. WOW. HAHA.

I was so glad that I got that msg from you. But I refuse to speak properly nor continue smsing you for long, Im afraid I like you even more. And couldnt pick myself up a few weeks later when you needa sit for ur papers. Gosh, I really miss you so much. Waiting for your papers to end for 1 week is already a struggle, I cant imagine waiting for 3 other months. Anyway wth am I waiting for? Crap.

Darl, what you are feeling all the while is just what Im feeling always back from 3 months before. I will continue to be your supporter and fill you in about Junyang. I realised I dun like Junyang at all. Ok, I didnt like JY from the start, maybe JY has the Exfactors? I dunno. But JY is yours alright? Because I know, the time when I like JY is when I need someone to be Clownfish's substitute. I dunwan to be so selfish, but I cant control how Im feeling right now. Im mad.

Hope all the emos go away. Im sick and tired and I dunwanna be a les. Oops=X

"Sweat rolling like-hot wax on a candle, getting me thinking bout I'm about to handle it cause your lips be fresh and so clean" My fave part of scandal. Partner likes it too(: HOT WAX.


IM just totally disappointed la. Spoke to Liangs, I guess she is the only one that understands how I feel la. The loneliness and lonerness and the serious shutupness Im facing and I feel cancelled off from the world. I really wonder how people manage to be so happy and all; maybe I lacked of an element, and thats friends. Or maybe I do have friends, but I expect much more from them. I dare not, but my heart is stubborn.

Less then 100 days and all of us will be seperated. Gretchen will be with Esther and Wanling, and yah, I guess they are going to the same school together, one happy family, what about me? I dun think they care abt me anymore ba. Im going to my stupid JC wearing that stupid green uniform that looks like grass, grass mixed with a lill mud. Remembered this lill joke we had, there is this guy wearing dirty green office shirt, and we saw a couple of Ny people. Brown and green! Together they look like a plant! HAIZ. But dearies, where are you guys going?? I wanna be with you all.

Tell me, friends or future? If I could; I want my friends.

Life seems so worthless in the night, directionless in the afternoon when I get home. Hopefully things get better when IM off to Jc ba. Nobody will be there with me I gathered. I will be all alone in that horrible environment, and I will have to make friends all over again. YUCKS.

I can foresee that the rest of my friends will be off to the same school having fun, and Carian will be super lonely la. I mean, as usual la. WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO ME?

Really la, Im gonna cherish everybody in class, esp the good ones. PEOPLE PLS COME TO MY JC! IM SO LONELY LA. HAIZ)):


I seriously am not sure if Ive made the right choice; It matters a great deal to me, most importantly my future and my happiness. Well, some people told me that thats the place where handsome guys are from, and I happen to see some cute bungs there. Like; IM not interested la, I mean, Im la, more spice in my life la, but then in this instant Im not, Weird la. Friday is the day; where everything comes to an end, all my journeys with Gurlfriend will be officially end. Though Im so not looking forward to it, as I still glimpse a little hope that she and I will be together in the end; but apparently, things aint that smooth for us.

All the best to the other people making up their minds about their future and all. And all the best to me and my amaths test tomo, my friendship with my clique, darl, partner, family and everybody so dear to me. And you darling; you never know how much I miss you everyday.

Im so disappointed you cant even express yourself over the phone! Im practically spewing my love for you la. LOLS. Hope for a transfer after Os k! Our suntanning, our extreme makeovers, you witnessing Carian Tham hooking guys after decades! You have to see that! HAHA. MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP LAST!


I finally understand how lousy my bloody results are, its so lousy la. Everybody around me are excelling, and I feel so lousy. Even family is doing so much better, THAN ME. Its cos of my stupid midyears! I think its cos I was too distracted by DSA, every other day I would have to rush to different schools for auditions.. Now that everything is over, I think I should place more emphasis on my studies, and not on other stuffs. Yes, Im feeling the momentum to study. The potential energy in me is stressed, and now they are converting into mechanical energy, kinetic energy for me to go walk into the room and take my books to the hall and switch on the TV and turn my head from the books to the TV screen:D

Oh bother, whatever it is, Im gonna put studies in the first place. And Im gonna do well. And get 19 for prelims. I must get below 20 to play safe and then get my 12 for Os(:Im just a little girl living in her own world. Whatever happen to my 6points in the past? HAIZ.

I somehow think that we all have grown closer, and now I begin to rely on you guys. After that talk yest, I just found out that our class isnt a wonderful class afterall, all the gossipings, its so scary. I really dunno what to do, I cant imagine you guys gossiping abt me again. I will really cry la. I mean, my good frens la! Then liddat!. HAIZ. HEY, I was wondering about this little qns all night, are we considered as 1 clique? I hope we are you know.. Its like everybody is so wonderful. Maybe we can work towards it, if everyone is ok..

And after this little talk with G, I feel that, yeah, maybe I shldnt like hide facts about my DSA from people. But I really dunwan to publicise it, cos I think its like so throwface. Up to now, Those people that I really told are, just people I hang out with. Less than 10. Im really puzzled, how the others know abt it? I suspect my frens say out la. UNKNOWNINGLY. BUT heck, I shall be open abt it now.

I heard that many people outside are guessing and betting on which JCs I got into. What are they treating me as? I somehow feel that Im a target of victim, they dun like me, thats why they do that. So g, now u know why am I against it? There is a bigger consequence outside. Number2, I hate to learn that Im lousy academically, and I needa use DSA to get into a JC. Help me God!

So now, at this instant, I really dunno which sch to choose to. Family and darl and partner and mings gor AND GIRLFRIEND! I really hope I can get into the same JC as you guys. My darlings(:
Not that Im greedy la, but I hope I can get to hear from AJ. Or maybe VJ! My dream sch! Apparently, people like Cheryl Sim haven gotten anything from her chosen JCS, she never, how can Carian get it first?

I really have to study hard, this slacky behaviour can really NOT be condone! Borrow The World Of Physics, everybody must be thinking that IM looney la. HAHA. Just treat it as a book to read lorr. Hopefully exam qns set from there I laugh ah.

Ok I gtg le, shall go cook my brunch((: MOZERELLA CHEESE! YUMS!

I really wonder how are you nowadays? Study hard for your stuffs:D

Written by; ♥cariann

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Haiyah she got exams tomorrow, shant kajiao her anymore until after everything, ok la, for everybody's sake, I shall only talk to her after Os. Im gonna change my url soon. So people, dun be surprised that you cant login here one day.

Written by; ♥cariann

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Monday, July 17, 2006

Hazel, I really didnt expect myself to feel this way.. I feel so cheap la. Maybe we should just stop it, cause by doing that, it will only hurt the both of us. Just forget the whole thing k? The first priority for us is to get into the same school. Not that matter. Yeah. Help me forget the whole thing. I wanna concentrate in my studies!!! God, save me! Its like, one after another. Another after one. I feel so.. horrible!

Written by; ♥cariann

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Hey girl, Im so contented and ELATED?--> Lol, to get to know you, I really hope next week will be a smooth and wonderful week for us aye? I love ya bestie cum gurlfriend cum zhiwen cum hazel cum renyi:D Im Zhiwen Junior! I like your name lorr, Ok, your name is the second name I like so farr;D. Only 1% of likeness. 99% is for someone else. LOL.

Girl, so much have been undertaken by us for the past 1 month, the road and path isnt smooth for us, maybe for you, its good, but for me, Im feeling so devasted and horrible. I really hope we will be able to get what we want out of the whole thing and may our scandalous rs last. LOL.
The below is a quiz you and Ive done, I put it up, lets see how many similarities we have.

FRIENDSHIP QUIZ:D


What is your name? Carian Siyuen Tham ( Now if we have the same for this, I really have nth to sae la.) Im Zhiwen Junior(: Sounds like a little lion! HAHA. Hao ke ai!

What is your school? PLMGSS.

How to contact you? MSN, SMS and you actually initiate to call me! GOSH. I like self initiative people la. No ar, I stay next door from you, everyday I climb over the fence to see you and talk to you la. LOL

What is your hobby? Take tons of pictures, EATEATEAT, read storybooks and sms like crap. Do maths--> Believe it anot? I actually like to study now? LIKE HELLO? Im a good gal and Im moltivated(:

What is your fave item? My handphone, my pencil case, my zinc bag and the red box((:

What is your fave colour? Black, brown, grey and blue, suddenly I like orange liao:D

What is your fave food? Roti prata--> Like oh goodness, loaded with fats! But I like curry! And chilli and pizza! (Hazel, you remember pasta mania? I like your pasta!)

What is your fave drink? Tea related drinks. Strawberry tea in a classy cup, and drink like some taitai. LOL`

What is your fave subject? EMATHS! AMATHS! Is singing a subject ar?

Who is your fave person? Let me consider if Hazel is included? ERMS, NEH!! HAHA.

What is your fave song? SCANDAL KOREAN. SCANDAL CHINESE! And those songs I sing la(:

What is your fave band or singer? CLICK 5 bahh. Jolin and SHE! And KANGTA and Vaness!

What is your fave sport? I JUST LIKE TO RUN. Play 5 stones? LOL. Oh that one that sports la. Bwhahas.

What is your fave season? Christmas and New Year! Is my birthday a season? HMM. I like Vday!!(: Hazel, you are so gonna give me a box of heartshaped chocs next year! LALALA.

Rightie or leftie? Middletee~ HAHA. Righthanded la.

What type of people turn you on? I dun get turn on, I get attracted to them. Yea. I like cute people~ Hazel, your shuai guy is seriously not bad! Thank me for giving you his number!! COME KNEEL BEFORE ME! HAHA.

What is your fave hangout? School canteen bah.. Icecream shops and neoprints shop!

Fave brand? Billabong! Roxy and Other graffiti related brands.

Fave clothes? I wear leaves and nth but leaves. Adam and Eve! HAHA. I dun have dress sense, so dun ask me la.

Fave movie? I dun watch movies de. So boring hor?

Fave pastime? Read books, do maths, eat and surf the net ba. I wanna shop la, but I need some financial assistance:D

HP model? N6680

Fave flower? Neh, flowers ar, Neh.


Last words to Carian Siyuen Tham: Carian You are the best! WO AI NI!!! Hmmmuacks*

Last words to Hazel Tan Zhi Wen: Hey, always remember that Carian is THE BEST! HAHA. I really cherish what we have now, hope to lengthen it aye? Love ya.

IF you have a chance to tell someone you like something, what will you say? Come on, who will go tell la, Just keep it to myself and rot. HA.

FRIENDSHIP QUIZ:D

What is your name? Tan Zhi Wen, Hazel

What is your school? DEYI!! Yeah!

How to contact you? Scream my name and Ill come running

What is your hobby? Singing, reading, Chatting on the phone

What is your fave item? Pillow! Teddie! HP

What is your fave colour? Dark Pink. Brown. Black. Green

What is your fave food? Everything. Fruits

What is your fave drink? Water. Cola. Rose Syrup ( Bandong) isit? heehe

What is your fave subject? English! Biology

Who is your fave person? Me Family Friends Bez Buddies

What is your fave song? Currently Bad day.

What is your fave band or singer? Rain. The Click Five.

What is your fave sport? Tennis, running.

What is your fave season? Winter. Summer

Rightie or leftie? RIGHTIE

What type of people turn you on? Hmm… HMM…

What is your fave hangout? Wherever my friends are

Fave brand? Hmm… none specifically! haha

Fave clothes? Mango

Fave movie? Every one that makes me cry

Fave pastime? Sleeping, chatting

HP model? Mine!! Nokia 3250!

Fave flower? Hmm… Lilies, Wild flowers…

Last words to Carian Siyuen Tham: Lurve ya!

Last words to Hazel Tan Zhi Wen: Bye me!!

IF you have a chance to tell someone you like something, what will you say? “ I have got to tell you something!! “

Obviously we have nth in common la! Gosh, we are so diff la bestie! HAHA. Who cares la, at least there is one thing I know we both share! We are crushaholics! HAHA. Ok la, you are more over then me pls, one after another! GOSH. Changing and changing!!!! Cannot hor! must learn to stay DEVOTED la. See you ard Hazel I needa get going, to study, sms me after you see this girl. Love ya.

Written by; ♥cariann

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Yest was quite a good day for me la. The happiest thing is that I get to meet up with my new friend Hazel after our tea party with Mr Kwei. He is so funny la, a middleage guy I met at Vj also. HE dyed his hair red and cut his hair short. He gave me this very cheeky smile which is suggested by Kenny that its prolly cos I went off or went too sharp when I sing, I dunno la. Just liddat la. Jiu shi zhe yang la.

Next week will be a busy week for me, tests and auditions, and really, I need my friends' prayers and encouragements, becos apparently my own family members dont really make me feel confident of myself at all. No encouragements no nothing, they want me to get THAT because they want me to get into a good school. Selfish aye? I really feel like telling them that I dunwanna study anymore after Sec4, but you know bloggy, Carian cant do that.

HEY YOU! Its true la, what you say is really true, somehow I feel that Im a loner, more like a drifter from my friends la, I dun seemed to be able to get along well with anyone, is it cos of my attitude? I just dun like to socialise at this period of time, and somehow I expect my friends to just like, be themselves, however they seem to have a wide and active social cycle, I really wonder how they manage to do it? Prolly cos I feel detached with the class? Im not cool, I dunno whats the latest news the latest trends? I dunno? I just dunno. I really find no energy and strength to socialise anymore. Im contented with my number of friends now.
My homing buddies cum family;
Gretchen sweets
Esther laogong, Wanling qingfu and Hazel nanny..
My GFdarl and Jaynepartner
Hazel (deyi) and bestie HJ--> OK THIS GIRL DIDNT CONTACT ME AT ALL! Ok la, she called but I refuse to ans so its my fault. I mean, she practically abandon me la, ok la, she busy la, maybe? Heck. WOW. Carian has so many friends. YESYES, Im just so contented and I dunno why.

Everyday after sch hurry pack bag meet family, all of us 2 by 2 walk home together, talk crap laugh and gossip. After a few min change "partners" talk and crap, ok la, I abit over, can hug Esther in the public and she always reject me la!): I mean, WOW, I think its so cool la. ER. What happen to me ar. In class nobody talk to me also nvm, got partner and darl, sometimes just hop over to Esther's table and start hugging her and molesting her again. HAH. Sometimes all of us will sit on the teacher's table to chat, scream across the class to ask all of them to come and chat. I mean. WOW. Im just so contented la.

But how long can this last? 2 months? 3 months at least? After that everything will just come to an end. I know I will leave them, nobody will get into the same sch as me. Ok, maybe they will, but thats if I made the correct choice. I dun wish to leave any of them. Imagine everyone having fun in the same JC and here am I far across the other part of the island studying..

I feel as though Ive no one to count on, nobody seemed to be there for me when Im down, yahlar, even if there are people there to hear me out, but its like, I wont wanna say, I dunno how to say. I feel so antisocial out of the sudden la, I wont be surprised one day I stop going down to the canteen and like, stay in class to mug. I mean, G you know what I mean abt this? Stop me if you see me doing this, Im afraid I will be liddat, I dunno, but Im very weird out of the sudden. Haiz.

Prelims are coming, and Im gonna be so lonely, everybody will be busy studying and after Os everybody will be planning on what to do after that, whereas I will be left alone, not knowing what to do. Ive to admit Im afraid of rejection, but somehow I feel that the probabilty of me feeling lonely after exams are 100/100. I hate silence, I hate rejection, I dunwan to even keep quiet for 10min. I like to be crazy and whacky, but somehow, these few days, I really have no energy to be liddat.

Cuz jie just asked me to help out with her blog, I tell you k, she wants me to help her put love song in her blog. Ive to like off my speakers while doing for her la, its like so sad, make me feel even more unwanted and poorthing la. HUHNAH! YOUR JASON LA! HAHA(: All the best k(:

Hp was abt to bao todae, msged 40+ LOL. Break record ever since I what, yeah. GOSH. I did something they will surely anger and make Hazel Tan jealous!! BESTIE! Guess what?? I smsed your shuai shuai shuai ge OWEN!! HAHA. He asked me if Im the DEYI girl la. GOSH. HE must have liked you la Bestie! Then I asked him if he likes you ar? How come ask then ask for you, NOT ME!? Hello, Plmgss? Sounds nicer! LALALA` JK LA!(:
Then we sms and I asked him for his age! LOL. Guess what bestie? He is older then us! And he lives with his guardian and I think he is very rich, I mean hello? Mixed blood, from Indonesia and somemore chinese la! My mum told me this kinda people very dangerous, cos Indonesian chinese very rich then they very hua hua gong zi! So bestie! Must be careful k(: OH HE SAID STH TO ME THAT WILL MAKE YOU VERY VERY JEALOUS! HAHA(: He said this: BLAHBLAHBLAH Very nice to meet you, and like Sa's motto, its not by chance! GOSH! SO SWEET RIGHT? I tell you, you see my hp le, you will confirm cry and scream at me! HAHA. My hp is full of his sms!!! HAHA(: Shall ask him out one day k, then I drag you along, NONO. WE should ask him out one day and DOUPAI him! YESYES! HAH, I finally know why you like him le. He is damn gentleman la! GOSH.

MY NEXT TARGET FOR JULY IS TO GET HIS EMAIL! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA:D

Student councellor, sectional leader(: *SCREAMS!!*

GOSH HAZEL! IM GONNA DIE SOON! One day shall invite you to my house and lets like, erm, PRANK CALL HIM! YESYES! GOSH HE IS SO CUTE!!!

I remember yest, Hazel and I was like looking ut for handsome guys at Aj, sorry ar, dun have and Im totally not interested in them la, cos someone else is soooooo much cuter la((: *TRIPLE SCREAMS!!* Then we were like giving each other nods and shaking our head when we see any guys ard us. HAHA. Nod means HANDSOME! Shake means, you know what la. HAHA. So funny. Then I saw Owen, I thought he was very very very irritating, he can talk to like anyone he sees la. Thruout the whole thing, he is talking nonstop la! To this girl! LOL. Hazel and I was concentrating on the president of the choir, HAHA. She told me he is cute, I was like YAHYAHYAH! I tot only I think so la! GOSH! She and I totally have the same taste pls! After the audition the president chased after me to tell me abt the results thing. GOSH! HE RAN AFTER ME! CHASED! HAHA. RUBBISH. Hazel was unaware abt the results thing, why ar? LOL. After that we dun care abt the pres le, I was over there praying and thinking of who to call to calm my nerves, HAZEL AR! Looking at boys la. BLAHBLAHBLAH! Then we got the results and went to the MRT station, we met Owen there. Gosh, I actually talked to him? I mean, Carian have nv talked to any boys for 4 years le, except for Benedict and kenny and my boy cuz la. Before we leave, I asked him for his number? GOD, where did I even get the guts mann. And he said ok!? WOW. So cool, and I smsed him todae! LOL. HAZEL!!! IM SORRY! We were suppose to do that together I know! SORRY LA. And I think I kinda wasted his money la. Sms so much. I waste so many people's money la!): Ok la, I didnt sms him alot today, as in, someone else la. LOL. 40 PLUS!?? GOD, I cant believe it. Nono, its 60 plus after I count again. GOSH! Ok, I wont sms someone I dunno in future le..

Hazel, thats very kind of you to wait for me at the busstop yesterday, as in travel from Yio Chu Kang to my school then back to Yio Chu Kang again. Thanks babe. I will never forget all our talk and hearttoheart talks on the bus, but somehow I think you are very angry with me now. I didnt know that matter will affect you so much, but I hope it wont affect us k! As in, haiz, I feel so sad partly cos you didnt reply me and you give me that attitude. I hope you will get that letter too! If its cos of the letter thing, I rather I throw it away k(: I dunwan it to affect us! HAZEL TAN ZHI WEN!!!! AHHHHH! Im so crazy over you now. HAIZ.

Written by; ♥cariann

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Thursday, July 13, 2006

You guys will never know how fascinated Im over with Scandal(Chinese) and (korean). ESP by hearing KANGTA'S first sentence. Have been hearing Scandal before I sleep for the past 3 days la. HAHA. Letting it run for 5 times at least before I really sleep. HA. By then its like 230 le. LOL. My passion for scandal! I tell you whats my fave sentence, finally I know whats the words le. YOU ALL GO HEAR OUT FOR IT K! Its at the rapping part!(:
"cus yo lips be so fresh n so clean But.." GRETCHEN! This is the part I like! But I cant seem to express, now you know which one le right! GOSH. Vaness did it with such an attitude, I cant even rap that part la, and I feel so sad. Carian is the choral kind, not a rapper, I finally derived. LOL.

I think they are so talented in music la, KANGTA!(My son-in-law) married to our beautiful daughter G, is damn talented la, he studies in some university about songs is it? G, fill me in about this IMPT fact my dear girl. Vaness, HA! HOT WAX! LOL.

Internet gave me prob just now, was so sad that I cant come online just now la, haiz. Forget it, some stupid things will always happen whenever I wanna talk to her de lor. Gosh. I hate school la, schooling means lesser time to talk, means driftees with all my fwens, HAIZ.

I must be a good student la, shall go study le(:
Friday is the day for you Carianees. And Tuesday is another day for you at the esplanade. Speaking about that, haiz, so ,many memories will come back on Tuesday, shall see if I have anyway to like, avoid going there in future.

Friday! Girlfriend! I can finally see you. I will always remember what you said to me. I quote ar! People ego la! HAHA(:
"Im looking forward towards every auditions, because thats the time we can see each other, and really talk nonstop." GOSH GIRLFRIEND YOU ARE SO SWEET! And I really hope we can get to stay out till 8 or sth together k. Let our parents meet up also la, then we walk infront and go do crap, Im sure they will have so much to catch up that they will just give us so much freedom!(: LOL! I miss you dear!

AND YOU! Stop floating before my eyes like an irritating piece of crap, and stop talking so loudly, it is irritating, by doing this, its not only attracting my attention, Ok, I admit it does make me wanna look at you- Not because I still feel for you, but it encourages me to place you under the list of AA people. I dun like you, you changed so so so much. And I really wonder how I manage to conduct and smile at you at the same time. I wonder where did I get so much courage, But NO, I dun think it requires any courage, I was being natural, I was just trying to be a good conductor and I have to give eye contact to anyone else. But the weird thing is, how come you manage to smile back to me, when we didnt do it for like 3 months? I dunno..

Gosh I miss you so much.. I totally hate the exams.

Written by; ♥cariann

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Monday, July 10, 2006

LOL. Couldnt sleep so here am I to blog. LOL.

Somehow Im like a little scared le lar, dearest report books, please DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT, be returned to us that soon la. HAIZ, felt so guilty for not doing well.

Finished biancheng FINALLY. One lesser burden now, actually I think Biancheng is quite a nice book to read lar. I TELL YOU AR;
There is this girl call CUICUI(: Her parents die cos they anyhow gao which is actually quite against their culture, hence they decided to commit suicide la. Then her Grandpa raise her up. There is this rich boat company boss la, both of his sons like her la. Then according to the culture, both of them, if they wanna ask her for stead or sth have to sing mountain hymns for her la. The elder bro knows that he will confirm lose to his lill bro, hence he left for another country, on the way he met with some accident la. Then the father dun allow the lill bro to marry Cuicui cos she indirectly kill the elder bro( I mean cos there is this struggle between both bros for her mah) then he also bu shuang and left. On that very night, Cuicui's grandpa died and she is now alone with her boat--> WHICH IS USED AS THEIR TRANSPORT LA. AND THEIR YELLOW DOGGY. (XIAO HUANG GOU!~). Then its like, she like the lill bro la, during the competition, then its like, everyday she will go to the XIAO XI BIAN (streamside) to wait for his return.

SO SAD HORR? HAHA. I read le, wanna cry pls. SO TOUCHING! I mean hello? CUICUI AH, I ADMIRE YOU FOR UR DETERMINATION IN WAITING LA.

Saw the video clip Darl gave Hazel for swet 16, GOSH, I think its damn TOUCHING LA. Almost wanted to cry when I saw it. Though its not for me la. Then I called Darl up and ask her why she never do that for me. lol. ITS VERY NICE LARRR(:

Hmm, somewhat got some idea and thought of what to give bestie for her pressie le. HMMM. 1 bouquet of flowers (12 Pink roses with carnations and some small flowers at the side), make a video clip for her too la. HAHA, copycat right? MEOWWWWS. The video clip will be filled with all our pics since Pri school, and our latest pics! IN the middle will be full of MY PICTURES! So that she can dream of me! HAHA. Then I poledance and sing solo for her la! HAHA. I KNOW WHAT TO DO LA, But dunno how to express la!! HAHA(: Shall ask her mum and me and her dad and my parents to say something to her la(: BUT BUT BUT! I wanted to ask her NCHS frens leh, but I dunno them at all. Except Yvoone, and IM kinda scared of her though. HAHA. Forget it, it will just be my face and my face and my face(: HER BIRTHDAY CLIP WITH MY FACE!!! HAHAHA(:

But then her birthday is like on Oct31? Aint I thinking abit too far? LOL Gonna go le.

Written by; ♥cariann

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Sunday, July 09, 2006

Was reading my past posts just now. And so many memories came back to me. All the way from 2004 when I first blogged, and until THAT time and till now. Dunno what to say, I just hate myself for everything. And I found out when is the day I liked WHEMHEMS. 30 March. HOHEMS, how interesting. LOL. Somehow I just cant seem to forgive and forget in this aspect. Why?

Written by; ♥cariann

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I must really learn how to sit properly, this is number one. I must master kinematics and those graphical drawings, this is number two. I must refrain from cutting my hair, this is number 3 and I must stop eating, cos of the 5kg more thingy. LOL`

Oh and number 4, I must yah yah yah yah, YAH!): So sad right, but no choice, have to do it sooner or later. Dont see any point in carrying on. IM tired.

Went to grands house wearing a very childish overall, comecome, I show you pictures.

Amberlyn with me in Grands room studying, she pei-ed wo for 1 hour(: Thanks girl.

Carian is high here. Look at my cousins(:

SEE MY BEAUTIFUL HANDS!(:

Amberlyn and Pearlyn, Shicheng, Carian and Carys!:D

MY BUNNY!!! I did it myself kays, so proud of myself pls! YAYS.

Look at the red patchcoat Im wearing, GOSH, since P5 I still can wear pls, according to my uncle, its either I didnt grow or I shrunk. GOSH. I can still wear it, but surely not wear it out when Im with my frens. GOSH. SO MALU LA. Infront of family members nvm la. HAHA.

Did abit of kinematics today! I really wanna do well kays, so all kind souls and all, please provide me with good infos on how to study well, cos I really wanna do well la! HAHA. No more playing and goofing ard le, study means study le ar Carian.

THAT THING on 14th, must really do well, gonna meet Hazel(DY) there. THAT THING WITH NK again, this time round, Im gonna make him fall in love with me, and accept me la. I shall put on thick eyeliner like a gothic person, wear extra revealing clothes and pay some bargirl how to be seductive la. LOL.
NO really, IM gonna make good use of this chance. Father, please help me, alright?

YES, I will study hard. Please pray for me everyone. I must do well.

Written by; ♥cariann

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

"You just need someone, just one insignificant someone to brighten up your dae, give you attention and love, and I hope, I can be that someone, together with you, hand in hand, run out of the eye of the tornado... "

I cant believe I wrote this to her. But hey, I know you MIGHT read my blog la. (I kill you la, if you dun read this ah! HORHOR! Carian angry le) But hey, whatever Ive written to you is from the bottom of my heart k. I want you to get rid of that feel. I know it aint so easy la. But somehow do you know ur feel affects me too? Hmms.

And darl, liddat call cool ah! HAHA. THANKEW THANKEW. I thought I scolded KAO*** liddat call vulgarities ah? THANKS AR:D But I think I must really control myself la. Lest no image in shopping centes!((: I love you too darl! In future we only have each other to rely on for those matters, and Im quite sure you are about to walk out of it faster then Im. Im a steel bar, you are a soft iron. You get magnetised easily, and you lose magnetism quickly too!(YAYS~) Whereas its tough for a steel to magnetise and hold those pins hanging on it and its tough to make it lose its magnetism.. I told you about that in detail about me le right. YEA.

Me and princess GF(:

Im sure distractions can be driven away for darl and me. And that we can really concentrtate in our studies. I dunno abt her la, but I think my studies are damn rubbish la. I can do well for my term marks only. But not exams. HA. O LEVELS is considered as an EXAM right? Thanks ar. Visit Carian regularly at PL SEC after you guys are gone. I think I might retake another year bah. Looking at my standard liddat. The only thing Im proud of, is that Ive an A2 for chinese!? HAHA. Rubbish. Speaking abt that, Im quite sad la. HAIZ

Forget it, Ive yet to receive anything from any JCS yet. Ok la. I know la, my standard isnt there yet. Im not good enuff at all. Im sure there are much better people ard as compared to me. And I should really humble down le la. But I cant, after hearing what those juniors and seniors said abt me in the past. I ego le. How to humble down. BUT then I realised that they are not the selection com, no matter what shit they say, I also cant get into that JC, so the only way to play safe is to treat everything normally. Even if someone praise you to the air, ignore, even if someone scold you HAHA. Also ignore. Because ultimately, they are not the one that will choose your future. Yepps.

Feeling so lonely now la, only Zoey to talk to. Where are my classmates? All gone to study? Perhaps I shld be doing that too! HAHA.

What happen to us? Why this hostility? I feel so sad and guilty for everything. Darn, I think I got into it much further after the past few days. And Im happy and most glad to. HA(:

Written by; ♥cariann

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Monday, July 03, 2006

Somehow I still have this post marathorn kinda feeling. I really missed the whole entire group so much): I want us to have the chance of singing together again. Its like after 1 month of practise, just after 1hr30min everything is gone. My heart feels heavy, how I wish I can get everything back. Same people same team, I dun care. We rockk`

Girls, we really did well I guess, and I really enjoyed being with you guys, if we were given the chance, can we do it again, together? ENTHU-LY?

My heart feels so heavy again. This is always the effect when Im indulged in a good performance. I feel so horrible!!!

Went to M walk today after dinner, wanted to get away from the hospital, heard 4A3, waved at gorgor! Gor! So cutee! I dunno if she saw me la. I think so! HEH. Saw Althea!! She and I started talking, apparently she is waiting for her friend, they plan to stay overnight la. I was suppose to be the one pls, and my mum didnt allow initially, suddenly she allow, but I cant possibly just ask her to let me go with them la, like so cheap liddat, making use of her. So I chose to leave, ever though I know I very much wanna spend some time with her(;

I dun like to make use of people, and ditto back to me. Hence, I rather give up my own happiness rather then make use of my fren. So yah. HAIZ, what a pity. Althea!! Haiz.
DARL AND PARTS I SAW EYECANDY TODAY!! Ok, not MY eyecandy but ni men de. She look at me 3 times! HAHA. I got count ok. Jealous anot? Not bad not bad. I told Zoey that SHE not bad! HAHA. Not bad not bad. Now I finally understand why you guys so GAGA over eyecandy. Hmm, not bad not bad. Tell you what, my whole entire convo with Zoey was, Not bad not bad. Nth but Not bad not bad. I wonder if she even understand what I talking abt anot? HURR. GOSH!! SC!! WHALAO, later I tonight cant slp thats it pls. RUBBISH PLS. Im devoted. Just wanna tell you that I saw eyecandy laa. And I think she not bad laa, you both!! DO STH!

Im seriously trying to avoid you now, I think its really over already k. I think you can be quite irritating at times now. HAIZ. I dunno la. Forget it, I wont even have the guts to tell you that la. Forget it, just torture me with all these, I will just ignore la k.

Spa-ling my hair now. Cos I intend to put my thick thick hairband tomo. Shall put some glossy wax from Lucido to straighten it. HAH. Now so smooth le(: I tell you ah, so much has been done on my hair la, money!! If I cut off ar, really dunno what to say pls.

Ok, shall go wash it off now, otherwise turn brown! HAHA. Anyway Ive been shedding hair recently. Like so much hair dropped off la! Must go see doctor soon. Pimples are coming out and my face keeps turning red whenever I get excited. Hmm, maybe Im going thru menopause ba. IM OLD!

Im still waiting for that call. Im yearning for it. I hope I get one soon. PLEASE!(:

Shall sleep early if not tomo cant wake up in time to even change my clothing and I shall wear my PJ there, I laugh ahh. Anyway, I dun have much fashion statements, and I cant be bothered anyway, like who is looking at what you wear la. Wait till I go find a stead and let my stead criticise me, then I wake up then start dressing properly, otherwise I just really cant be bothered la.
Speaking about criticising and scolding. HAH. I suffered from it before. Like whatever. Kenny is right, the 3 most difficult thing to say to a person is: I love you, Sorry and Help me. For me its a little different. Its just a basic I Like you, stop flirting and I want you.

Written by; ♥cariann

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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Cool, Music marathorn was GREAT(: I think 4A2 is nth but the best la. Ok according to me la, if you people there dun think so then too bad la. But I think it was VERY ZAI PLS. Teachers confronted me and told me that it was great and Mrs Tng gave me a pat on my shoulder! So far 2 teachers asked me for my number, they say they want me to come down and sing, or is it the whole group to come back to sing, I forgot, didnt hear properly, very hungry so I ran away without hearing the details.

Tian Hei Hei was one of the best, ESP the choral symphony with a tinge of different voices. Qings and me: AHH
Partner and Gretchy: DOOO
Guifeng and Hazel: DE
Blend together becomes a sea of voices flowing across the venue with so much vigour and feeling. GOD! I LIKE IT SO MUCH! IF ONLY THE CHOIR IS WITH ME! Then different sections different effects, it will be splendid la!(: But nvm, I like the newbies group(:

ZHI LAI ZHI WANG WAS KINDA COOL PLS! And I think 1943 was kinda off la, I conducted like some shit pls, I think I conducted the choir at a worst state. So Im not surprised that I didnt get the Colours Award this time round. HAIZ.

Bring it all back is like so crap la! HAHA! We sing at the top of our voices like some madcows! BUT I THINK IT WAS OK TOO! I lay my love on you was BAD. Too soft, plus the fact that Im not those kinda LOW types, so I couldnt project. I used my diaphram and supported it, but cannot la. Just no sound come out. So fake sing lor. HAHA.

I think on the whole was VERY GOOD LOR! I began to realised the imptance of unity and friendship. BUT seriously, without a cooperative team of people nth can be produced, but we had fruitful achievements, 3 CHEERS TO THE NEWBIES! THE UNITED AND WONDERFUL GROUP!(= Although Ive met with so many probs along the way, but really, I must really thank those who helped me and consoled me, help me to tide over the difficult period. Thanks.

Dad was rushed to the hospital this morn at 3plus, met Parts and darl and started crying. Sorry la, I didnt mean to be so late, to the family too! Sorry for waiting for me at the MRT station. But I really failed to tell you guys abt it, and hence I did not meet you guys there. Sorry, I just forgot. So many things have been affecting me recently. Dad, some stuffs and somemore stuffs. And no one seemed to understand, I mean I cant possible go up to anyone of my frens and say right. Like they will even be interested. OK forget it. Shall forget it la k.

The only way to bury my sorrows and heartbrokeness is to sing, somehow I found back my love for vocals. Yes, indeed, music is a medicinal tool that helps to aid a sad human here.

Hmmm, I think Im such a sadist to myself, I keep saying Im sad, and if this carries on, I will be even sader la. I really wonder how I manage to keep myself so happy today jumping and laughing like some mental case. I really dunno where I even get this strength from, perhaps its from God, he wants me to enjoy having my friends ard? All maybe he is using that to prevent and precaution me lest sth happen to me dad? I dunno. I just know this morning's tears were filled with anger; for them not understanding me and all that Ive gone thru without being supported. And sadness; sth happen to him. I cant afford to lose any love ones anymore. Cos Ive already lost one, and I cant afford another. Ok sheesh, I feel like a kid with a broken family. Whatever la.

Dinner was kinda ok at Grands, atmosphere was tense. Whatever la. Im always so bored la. Nth ever interests me, my life is so boring la. God. And the only think now that interest me is singing. I want to join the SYC. Get into DSA, and do well for my results. I shall cast all stupid thoughts and nonsense aside until the exams are away. Actually darl, Im just as distracted as you, or maybe worst, just that I didnt say out thats all. HA. I seemed to be someone that can really hide her feelings aye? Perhaps Ive attained the level of shushing(: Carian rocks, she is no longer a big mouth that spills her emotions anyhowly.

WHY THE HELL AM I ALWAYS ENDING MY POST WITH SOMETHING SAD? Aiyah shall blog happy things. ERM, me and my frens bonded quite well la. ERM. Me and my frens went out after marathorn, darl gave me a sweet from candy empire, we all went to eat at Long Johns, we has a wonderful time ESP me((: Ok the end. The rest of the memories are saved and trapped in my mind. Shall go closely recall what happen today(: Those were wonderful memories I know I wont deserve to get again. Im not so lucky. HAIZ. Im sad again.

I suggest we can stop talking for awhile, I dunno how to tell you this, but I think we are getting abit over. Maybe a little absence from each other can be beneficial. The stuffs I hear from you is just so over, I dunwanna hear it ever again, it affects me in a way or another sometimes.

Written by; ♥cariann

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