Gosh, though Im sick, however I seem to know what is happening in class. Went home at 845 today after phototaking. LOL. AI MEI PLS. Was suffering from a horrible bodyache and I couldnt sit down for long on hard surfaces and I cant stand during assembly. Almost fell, luckily I held on to Qings. I think Im beginning to lose some health of mine. Maybe time is up for me soon=x

I think Im begining to lose some faith in friends too, its like, the more you expect of them, the more you will be hurted, the closer you are with them, the greater amt of flaws you will discover of them, normally I choose to ignore, but nowadays I cant seemed to ignore just liddat. I wanna pinpoint their flaws to them, But I dun dare to, I dunwan to hurt others. Maybe Im not that good mirror of others ba. As in, the back mirror. The mirror which exposes nothing but the ugly side of human, and conversely, the front mirror only shows the beautiful side of one.

I admit Im ugly both in looks and character, but HEY friends, Im trying to be a better friend for all. A better darl for GF, better family member, better partner for Jayne, better sis for Kenny Gor..

Some people just wanna be funny la, they can be so hypocritical to the sense of like, Today Im supportive of you, tomo I am against you. What shit is this la. And our class have this kinda people, and I happen to know that person, like what is this, IM so disappointed.

I hope everything will be ok and successful in our performance tomo. Shall go brush up my kangta moves. And Im so afraid I will faint on stage, cos I was so groggly at home today that I slept from 10-2. HAHA. JIAYOU LE!

Heys though we are not that close and stuff, but I wanna tell you that I support you k, your courage and your never say die spirit!

I miss you, I wanna see you, and I like you.


Happy Birthday Sweets.

You dont seem to be happy receiving my sms, well, I was sad. But who cares, luckily Gor was by my side encouraging me, well, I dun think I should carry on depending on him, I should be strong, afterall this is my emotions and I should sort it out myself. But haiz, Im afraid of losing him also, cos now he is like my confidente or sth, he understands me well, and he doesnt seem to bother abt that little ugly secret of mine. I have to say he is open abt me liking girls ba. HAHA.

I will forget her soon, and gor, I wont do anything silly I promise you alright. With love, thanks Gor.

Do I call that love or just adoration?

Im simply hooked by her. Gosh`


Not trying to be funny but guess what did Ms Tham did for the rest of her Saturday? HER PRIME TIME TO STUDY!? I was searching for the rankings of different JCS, see which JC got the most awards and looking at Priscilla Tan's Friendster, cos I wanna see if she is really pretty, oh btw, she is my future school's banner girl. But I dun think she is really that pretty bah. Whoops, maybe Im just jealous of her. Its because of people like her, then people like me will be left on the shelf. TSK pls.

Apparently, VJ is like SO DAMN GOOD LAR. Better then Tjc so much better. Like so much so much. And NJC is also so much better, can fight with VJ le. Dont need to check RJC and HCJC la, everybody know that they are the best of the best. It makes TJC become the bottom of top5. How sad. And JCs like Anderson got abt the same awards as Tj, and it is ranked 6th. Gosh, soon TJC will just cry and sit at that corner la. Lousy school pls.

But then again, if I didnt get into DSA, maybe I cant even get into a JC for the first 3 months, Im like slacking here, prolly because Ive rested on my laurels le. One bad point abt being in the DSA scheme, you tend to slack, and in the end all ur frens will soar like eagles, whereas people like me, yahlar, still can get accepted by TJ the supposely Top5 Jc, but then I will end up in the art stream. How sad. And you know what? The cut off points for TJ before cutoffs are 6-8. That means after cutoffs should be abt 4-6 I think. For Vj its 5-6 before cutoffs. Can you imagine the smartness of VJ? GOSH! Why cant they accept me into VJ? At most I slog la! HAHA. But kinda think of it, if i really were to like get into VJ, I think I cant catch up de. Its an excellent school! Whereas for Tj I think its still within my reach if I mug hard. Well, as what Ms Tan has said, "Do not worry if you are accepted by DSA(before I got the confirmation letter), always believe that God has given you a place." Ah yes, she is so right!

I shouldnt complain or complain so much, afterall my ability is just that standard, so there is no way I can go further. At least I know even if i get below 20 for Os, the worst JC I can go is TJ, a top5 JC, I mean its really a bonus for me and I have to thank god for it. But that doesnt mean I can slack la, afterall when I get into the society if I have to show my Os Cert to apply for a job, you tell me which dingdong will wanna hire a 19 pointer? (alert: JC admission via DSA is below 20 meaning must get 19 NOT 20.) Thats provided I do damn well for my Alevels la. HA.

I must really ping le! You know my horrible mummy told me abt the sch blind thing. I think I told baobao before. What the sch people close their eyes to pick the forms, then SWEY SWEY picked me. Then I was protesting that its cos I got talents la! That amt of effort I put into choir and singing, I mean Tj also looks at people's audition de right. Maybe I was able to prove myself thats why I was chosen? Wheregot sucha thing as they blind, then they pick me? Its very unfair to me ok. I mean, not that I haolian, but I think Ive some potential in singing de k. How can anyhow let u liddat say me, Im ur daughter like hello?

I learnt a lesson thru this DSA thingy. And Im determined to follow it. ETC, Im a mother in future, I will ask my kids to be very attentive during their CCAS, because, I feel that CCAS are impt you know! Esp in those asthetics and performing arts. You see, so many of us got into DSA thru this, isnt it a blessing? I was smart enuff not to give way to my mum during sec3 when my results were lousy. She was like asking me to quit choir drop my post and some nonsense shit like this. Then she scold scold scold. Luckily I clinged on to what I want! I love choir, and I heck her, now in the end I got into TJC then she was like telling me this: HENG YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME LAST TIME. THEN YOU GOT INTO TJ. WTF pls, trying to zhang my guan is it? When things are bad for me u somewhat despise me, what things are good for me, you happy. WTH? DUN u know what is no pain no gain? Dont u know Im luckier then many others? My results so lousy and Im secured with a place? Why cant you think of it in a lighter light? I think u are just so horrible.

But then again, I dunno if I will be happy in that school. Afterall its a foreign place and Im just like a puzzle from another set, no matter how much I wanna squeeze into the picture, its shades and colour is just wrong. Maybe I should go back to that puzzle I originally come from, so that setB can be finished, with perfection. I dont know. Its your day tomorrow.


Was rather shocked with my Chem and Amaths. HAHA. Like what Baobao had said, it isnt right to give up this 2 subjects, I just have to pia for it. And Yes, I will work even harder for my As.

Dunno why la, I think I feel abit whatever today during recess. Its this girl by the name of Tiff. I dunno if I like her. But liking her is just like making the same old mistake or sth. Readers, as this is a private blog, pls dun dun dun tell anything out. I feel that she is so small and cute and yah, there are quite a number of people saying that she is cute! HAHAS!
There is no more JY, only Tiff now for school de. Oh gosh=x Why I like girls la??? HAHA. And of cos, there is still her Im currently trying to forget. HAIZ, she is so near yet so far. I give up. *BANGS!* Ok, maybe Tiff is just an eyecandy. As simple as that.

Tuition tonight, and Im gonna buck up and do my best! I wanna be a good and nice student. A responsible daughter of my mummy and daddy. Days are passing and Im closer to the cold walls of TJ, and their green uniform, nobody is there for me.

Her birthday is coming, and I cant do anything, and I dunno what to do. Im not even close to her in the first place so yahh. I dont know. I really dont know..


Changed my blogskin=x I think its kinda ok la. Quite bored with my old skin, plus got new url le, so everything must be new(:
Just done with her pressie, I think its kinda cheapo la. 16 chocolates of 2 kinds, means 32 pieces plus a box with minitoons plus a ribbon from those shop and a friendsforever flower=x Cheapo sia. OI! People reading you all get out of my blog le, pls pretend you all dunno k! Dun go help me zhangyang, later I malu. HAHA.

I like my blogsong, heard it before at gong's blog for a long time ago, now I put it up too! HAHA. Laopo and laogong like the same kinda songs! ERM. HAHA.

Was kinda shocked with my Physics, I strive to work even harder, and will not let any setback push me down! Prelims are coming and I haven started I tell you all honestly. Really have to chiong le, Im too slack le pls! Pls pray for me aye. God bless me and my friends in sec4 with splendid results for prelims and Os!

Feelings died. So fast`


We talked today and Im happy and glad. But somehow I know there is this little space between us. Its prolly there for a good reason. Im making myself stop it. I have to stop it. I dont like you, yes I so totally dont like you.


Im drained. I feel as though Im gonna die or sth, again, its Chemistry practical tomorrow,and I didnt bring home my textbook again. AGAIN, Ive to go over to my bestie's house to borrow her science textbook, luckily subchem is somewhat the same as pure Chem, other Im like dead man. Rather in a low concentration span nowadays. How sad. Must really learn how to concentrate my dear Carian. You are a gonecase if this carries on.. I dunno why, I just dun seemed to enjoy ur presence, and I know you dun enjoy mine either. HA. Yupps. All the best to me with my studying.

Physics prac was kinda like a gone case for me todae. I just hope to get 65 for prac, HAHA. Then even if I fail theory, it can pull it up. But I think I got the gradient part and the extention qns wrong. How cool la. HAIZ): Those chinese compos by them is just to cheam for me to comprehend, how dead.


Something I really dun understand. There are so many classes which put in those efforts and they cant be selected, whereas for 4A2, we didnt really say practise very hard and yet we got one of the highest. Unbelievable right? Reason being, 4A2 is full of people with talents, humourous juices, people with superb acting skills and impromptu-ness. All these plus together forms 4A2 WO MEN ZHE YI BAN!

4A2 is full of leaders, from presidents to vicepresidents, to conductors, sectional leaders, group leaders, treasurers, squad leaders, CSM, student coordinator, you name it all, we are able to produce a rank from 4A2. However we do not seem to have the leader de zuo feng. We appear to be blind donkeys following the crowd. Like what Baobao had said in Sam's blog, its just like a chain or sth, somebody wanna back out everybody else backs out. HEYS, is it cool to be blind? I was very sure I was firm in my stand, I didnt wanna back out at all. All the while I was taming the little fierce lion from screaming and crying, and trying to speak to my clique members aka Sokfan, Ailing and Yees in staying back. They did and I was proud of them. I remember saying like; SK and YL we are in the same clique, and I hope you all can give some face and not backout, you guys are my goodfrens, if you all liddat I will really be very sad. HA! I said sth liddat. And I was glad they didnt give me a hard time unlike somebody else. They stayed on, and THANK GOD!

So what if you have a high rank in your CCA, in class you dun have that initiative, you tell me, will I look highly upon you? BLOODY HELL NO.

You are one good etc, I have not really liked you, and I can see you are trying hard to fit into some group, snatch my clique members away... Now my clique like not a clique liddat. Then that day so act cool go say you wanna go home. So what if your bloddy hell rank is so much higher then me. I dun give you a damn pls. Lucky handover is over, I will really take a knife to stab you if I can.

Sorry, Im a bias person. There is no way I can treat you properly.

Scandal dancing was improving, can see the coordination le! Thanks to Laogong and everybody's determination(:

Can see more and more people waking up and decided to join in the performance. Im glad. You see, studies is not everything, really. I have this uncle who keeps saying my RJC cousin. HE was saying that my cousin even though he is smart he lacked the EQ, and this type of person will really suffer in the society. Performing in the thing gives us experiences, friendship, dancing, acting and singing. If you miss this chance, you might not be able to turn the clock back this is number 1, number 2, how will your friends see you as? Number 3, other class people see you sitting on the ground not taking part in the performance, when they ask you this, OI SO AND SO, how come you not performing? What are you gonna sae? NO LA, IM VERY HIGH CLASS THATS WHY I DUNWANNA TAKE PART. Or, I have no time to perform. Then bloody hell sucker, dun even watch the performance go home and suck ur mother's milk la.

You see people like me tomo still have Physic Prac, I DIDNT BRING HOME MY TB, I nv cry, Im going over to my bestie's house to borrow her Physic book to read, though hers is a NA book la, I also dun care. Is this bochup attitude ar. HAHA.

I cant stand you also. Its like, your results are nv really wow la, then nowadays I have this feeling you wanna get the highest or sth, like do abit badly then wanna cry, come on la, your results are just mediocore and you expect urself to be an eagle in a week's time, I really cant stand it la. And you always lie to me say you never study, end up get higher then me le then give me that kinda face, I really cant stand it le k. Why must you bloody hell go lie, then u go say Im competitive, come on la, I compare what shit, wanna compare also go compare with other people wanna compare with you, I think you are dreaming le la. I dunwanna jiang gen nan ting over here. I think you are just a super wannabe, a faker and Im gonna expose you one day. So far a few people know le. I will make sure you die ok. I cant stand you le. But yet I dun understand why sometimes I can still be so nice to you. What is happening la, and somemore people keep shielding you.. I dunno la.

I just hope I can be a cooperative and nice friend to those who cherish me, I have stopped comparing, Im telling those who are reading this now. Im serious. I have learnt to work in my own pace and I know whats installed for me, so now, all I can do is to study hard AT MY OWN PACE, and ignore all distractions. I will pray hard for those around, hopefully we can soar as eagles k(: I love my clique, my family and besties(: LOVE YA. and that includes you-


Did Lit at 1030, was really stressed and worn out, I cant do any work at night. I wonder what are my team members who are so free doing? GOSH. Equally? HA.

Was hearing the Father's Hand CD while doing my work, was really sad and all, all the memories came back! Supranee, Lauren? HAHA. Was so crazy over them that time. And those were the times when times were the sweetest with her, and whatever she say is so sweet. HAHA. I realised that my life is always revolving around girls, and thats so bad please. Why cant there be boys in my life, then at least my blog wont be so sick. HA.

Then I carried on to listening to the marathon songs, Gosh, all the memories came back. Feel so sad and emotional in the middle of the night, madness pls. 1943! HAHA, I remembered making a fool out of myself by conducting! CRAP. But really, the effect was good by the newbies and Im so proud of them!! They sounded like a choir, but just that we dun have blendings only.

Then I was thinking about Wanling, Esther and Gretchen and I feel so sad, we are seperating so soon, and Im so sad. Friendships are fostered liddat, and broken liddat, I really hope that our time together can be lengthened and God, teach me how to cherish the ones I love. Guifeng and Jayne, Liangyu, Mings, Sokfan, Yeeling and Ailing..

I cant get myself to forget you, though I know 1% 0f the time, I wasnt thinking about you. I was with you. Cos I can teleport! LOL. JK. I like you still.
It wont be change, nth will change=x


Tomo is my Os Oral. English oral wor. DIE. English used to be my best spoken language, but recently under the baton of somebody I cant even pronounce properly la. I really have to do my very best le. I dunwan to do worst than her, I wanna be like her, so smart so intelligent, unlike me la. I think having this private blog is so cool, its like, I totally have nobody to talk to abt her, so I shall use this bloggy. Finally Im free from having to hide or underline what I wanna say or try to make the words transparent. I can just write what I want freely. HAHA. GOSH I LIKE HER I LIKE HER. SEE, so easily type out right, thats the pros of having a private blog. YES! *Punch fist into air*

Die, after yest I dun think the both of us will ever meet again. Totally have nth to say to each other, even though the whole thing only last for 30mins, but it was a painful one for me, I cant even talk to her properly. Not cos Im scared, its more like, she dun like me and she dun wanna talk to me la.

I really dun understand her at all mann. In virtual space we can talk and crap, but recently I think we lost that touch too. We didnt really talk. And esp she tells me about Thor, I can really cry la. Its like, Im so jealous, Yet I cant do or say anything. I really dunno what to do with myself, I just know that liking her is such a bad thing. I hate myself for it.


Really dunno how am I feeling mann. Should have tot of this a long time before. I think Im super adnormal, and I think I really like her so much mann. I just cant control my feelings at all. Everytime I see her, the more I like her. What is happening to me.

I dunwan to be this way too, I know this is wrong, but Carian is feeling this way. Its been 3 months plus, and the feeling got stronger each day, what am I suppose to do?

I think I should really stop talking and communicating with her, I call this, a no ending kinda thing, I mean whats the point la, and seriously, I dun think we can ever talk and even be friends after so much that have happened. I dun even wanna be her friend. I want sth more, but yet, I dun think I even want it to happen. I dunno la. I just know I really like her so much. This blog is really gonna be real private, and I hope unneccesary people wont get to read my thoughts.


To Darl, Budd Yees, Dora, Sam, Althea goodie cum Shuais, Girlfriend Hazel, Bestie Huijuan and my dear Kenny Gor;
Always perservere on and never say die. As long as you continue to do your best, God will do the rest. I will carry on praying for you guys, and support you guys on October 30th or 31st, Im doing my papers too. I really hope that the results will not be a stepping stone for you guys, and that you all will not let it affect you. In my heart, you guys are already the ultimate Ace-rs, and Im proud of you all le. Cheers to our friendship, and to your everlasting determination.
Love, Carians(:

Do you know how my heart bleed when I see you cry, the heat of your tears melted my heart, I wish I could do more for you, but I really dunno how. We have been together for so many years, and I wish for the best of you, pls promise me that you will perservere on and never say die, lets cross this barrier together and advance to the next level with a big smile plastered on our faces. I love you darl.

You are so right, you need someone you love to love you, someone to help you in your studies to help you, and not complain to you. but you see, when is the time we both can get the desirable one? HAHA. Perhaps, all these only exist in fairytales, there is no such thing, and I dun believe in fairytails anymore, though I used to.

You didnt reply my msg since Friday. And somehow Im disappointed. I deserve it laa. You dont care about me anymore, and Im sad.


Its time to say goodbye.. My duty as the conductor and treasurer ends like this. Simple yet sweet.

Kausalya, Me, Zhuohwa and Claudia(:

Claudia and me, A little overdress for the theme Retro. I dun look retro, more like a freak! HAHA:D

Sec1s.


Sec2s. Yupps. HAHA.

The ones leading from that day onwards(:

Ms Ang came back.


Me and Anastasia(:


Same people, different costume(: I bunned my hair!(: SUCCESS.
Im the 3rd retro Sec4(: HAHA. Not bad ar.
Happy memories, different kind of love.

Laogong! She is so tall, and I like tall people. HAHA.

I think Qings looks nice here, and my laogong ar, ERMS. So shuai. LOL. Shuaige Esther(:

Couldnt get a pic of baobao, so dun have. Shall toupai her next round(:

Woke up at 930 to study for Geog today, I think Im like so dead la, 2 tests tomo and I will be having tution later. So so dead.

Oh shall blog about the past days. I was bullied by someone on stage during National Day Performance. Apparently, she ba zan the whole mike and her flag poked my eyelids, and she deliberately pushed me on stage, I think she is doing this all to gain attention and power. Im sorry, that all your attempts have failed. No matter how hard you try, the power of * has already been distributed out transparently and equally. And there is no way you can ever gain power. I hate you, and I dun care how you feel about me. After the farewell, I dun think we should even be friends, you are a bad example, and I dun wish to see your f***ing face ever again.

This is the first time someone did this to me. I dun feel hurt, but I just hope I can pour acid into her eyes and dip her wound into viscious lava, electrocute her and crack all her bones. I know Im a bad example and my moves are rather satanic, HA. I wont allow anybody to bully me or show disrespect to me. Somehow I think I have learnt to be tough on the outside, but yet weak inside. For I gather that people that appears strong on the outside are usually weak. I guess Im one soon ba.

The number of times I cry this whole week is really countless mann. And yes, Ive to really control myself, Carian ar, though things aint easy for you, you really have to ren, once you get out of PL, things will be ok for you, might as well, you ask your mum to send you abroad faster, then you wont have to tolerate anymore.

Mon was kinda fun, went out for porridge buffet with family, CHEAT MONEY LA. This Qings also one kind la, nv check properly=X end up must pay 2 bucks more. SHOOTSSHOOTS. But I think on the whole was quite ok ba. Qing and I was having a cracker marathorn or sth, LOL, keep refilling our plates of crackers and I drank 4 glasses of water! So proud of myself! I think I ate the most la, AS USUAL. HAHA, or is it Qings? I think she won me by 2 bowls of red bean soup! She also one kind la, go buffet drink red bean soup, wanna eat also eat the erm, wait, whats the most ex there? HAHA. The cost price for everything like so low la, no wonder they can earn from the consumers! HAHA.

Went to Orchard to walk and stayed at some beauty shop for abt an hour to look at beauty products, typical girls la. Laogong said that she has used this used that, GOSH, our beauty consultant! One day, I shall ask her jie shao some products to me. My skin cannot make it again la. ACNE COMING BACK!

Im on water diet today! LOL. Weighed myself, Im 47.5kg, I think the machine spoil la. Haiz, how come losing weight seemed to be tougher then gaining weight? WHALAOS.

Im saving up for my gala night after Os, and I shall start planning what to do, I wonder if CB wanna hang out with me after Os, or I go yue him out. HAHA. DESPO DESPO.

What you said was amazing, I dunno how to believe how credible you were. I will make sure you keep your promise. You are mine next year((:


Symphony Of Praise Was very good. Was so glad 11 family members came to support me. LOL, still remember mummy saying that nobody would come cos it was too ex, then I begged her to call, she refused to throwface so I called lorr, GUESS WHAT? They agreed on the spot. Now this is what I call FAMILY. AWWWW. Im touched, really. Feedbacks were positive from them. Guzheng was the best according to them. I mean, everything was good la. They couldnt see me on stage cos I was blocked. Too short de jie guo lorr.

Spent so much time at the corridor with the others. Gosh, I felt like a total loner pls, luckily I have Anastasia, and spent time with her, trust me, we werent close and nv talked in the past, but just that day, things lit up for me and her. Cool. Was so nervous whenever we were called on stage. Matinee was soso, the night one was the BEST. And somehow it really left a deep footprint in my heart.

Thank you mum's side family members, despite your busy scheldue, you all came, and Im really so touched. Esp, when Zi gu, shook my hand hard when I was standing in front of the stage in attention, he came to me, smiled and squeezed my hand, just then, I felt the family love. They didnt understand what I was singing, but there were thumbs out from them. On the stage before we sang, I saw small uncle and his family waving at me, GOSH. Smiling at me all the time when I sing. Im so touched. In front of the stage during matinee, SAW DARL. She duck her head thru the crowd to smile at me, she really gave me one of her genuine smile, that angelic smile she used to give me whenever I need support whenever Im on stage, and my dear will be sitting down there with full attention supporting her other darl (HAHA) on stage. GOSH. Im SO SO TOUCHED.

Whatever happen to the other, the others whom I love so much, where are you guys? Where are the ones I wanna see too? Where is the school spirit? Where is your support for your frens? I mean not only me, but your classmates and your cca mates? Where have you guys gone to? I dun believe that money is an issue, I dun believe u guys have no time, apparently, people are more willing to stay at home to watch telly and play com or go out then to attend the concert. Ok maybe arts isnt your cup of tea, I have nth to sae. Really starting to feel this bond I have with the sch. Ah yes, my uncle is right, our school is a musical school, and I hope we can really convert into sucha school that does nothing but music. I love music, I love singing, and I talked to my mum, I told her Im sending sissy into PLMGSS. Thats the place her jie grew, throw away all stupid rumours that we are a les sch and such, abolish such thoughts pls, PL is a school of God, a school where music thrives, and music is very impt in our life. It really helps to create another path in your life. Nobody will understand how I feel, I suggest you beg for time to turn back, attend the SOP, and you will understand. Now, all my family members no longer despise me, thinking that my school is full of those kind of people, they see us in a better light. And its thru such performances done by the sch's talents that we are being released from the realm of bad names. PLS, those that didnt attend the concert, think about it, have you lose out alot? If u think u didnt, thats fine, but to those, who really cant be bothered, I think you are a sad case pls.

Im looking forward to coming back to PL to teach in the future years, I will make sure I get equipped with music after my U, return back to PL, and continue to help plan musicals and concerts. Im keen to, and thats what I wanna do. PL, I love you.

Choir farewell tomo, Im leaving, after 4 years in choir, Im gonna take my leave. No more choir pracs, no more Mr jusof, Im gonna miss him! Im gonna miss the others. Im gonna miss a lill of trinity church, Im gonna miss my choir gowns and costumes. Im gonna miss singing badai, lift thine eyes and amen. These memories can never be taken away from me, I will always remember the tune and words of those 3 songs. Wait for me to return, I wanna sing this song again..

Ker Ti Ka, Badai Mer Lan Da, Meh ga meng dun ki lat meng ger le ta... (Winds are howling, and many are suffering, God please save the people from the tsunami...) Beautiful song.. Can we sing it tomo?

I still remember, I get to hug you last year during the farewell, you cried and told me that you didnt want me to leave like how the sec4s last year are, you told me you hated for that day to come for me. Though we dont talk to each other anymore. 4 months, HA... I dunno why am I feeling bad whenever I see you, I think that feeling came back. I haven got all over it yet. And now, you seemed to be ignoring me, there is no way I can talk to you, there is no way I can stand by your side, not even 1metre.


I really wonder, why is everything so well and beautiful for the rest, whereas for me, IM feeling so horrible here. IS life really that beautiful? Perhaps they are, to them, and somehow, Im just not living in their world. They have somehow rejected me in their life. Why? And what did I do?


Crap, Carian is slacking and her maths results really sucked to the core. Guess I shouldnt be playing anymore and its really time to study real hard. Or else I will really slack behind everyone. Prelims are coming, like oh gosh, Im so dead.

ABRSM is HAIZ. Heard that the judge was from Vienna Boys Choir. HMM, expectation must be high high also la. Hope we get a borderline distinction. Just a borderline distinction will do. No need high distinction la. LOL. But what if we get a merit? What will happen? IM leaving Choir soon, and that means my contribution will ease just then.

Colours Award is now at stake. My socks are too low, and I got caught today, and I cried on the spot when Ms Gan told me she might want to strike my name off. GOSH. Cant really blame me la, my shoes too high, LOL. Forget it, I'll be a good girl and make sure my attire is proper! LOL.

So hungry today, and I think my body is going thru endothermic reaction, all parts of my body are chilled. Dun care la, Im gonna eat more. Shall not care abt dieting. Pffs):