Yupp, will be officially jobless by the end of March. A short break and then its off to work I go again, or maybe just prepare for uni admission. Hopefully. So it will be another 1k for me I hope ><

M and his family will be heading to Taiwan this March. In 2 weeks time maybe? During his block leave. I guess I am ok with going, but I guess my mum is rather worried for my results. EG: What if I do badly and I dont have the mood to enjoy. What if I last minute dont want to go because of my bad results. Just dont get it, how come she keeps thinking I will get bad results. I mean I am stress enough, not confidence enough already, so why does she have to rub it in further. Why cant she understand that there is sucha thing called the LAW OF ATTRACTION. If you keep thinking something will happen it will. So why do we have to keep thinking of the negative side, I mean, we certainly wont want anything bad to fall upon me right. ESP results wise.
Anyhow, I am not sure if I will be going. I mean its his block leave, we have beeen waiting for this leave for 2months plus. Then I will have to seperate from him. I mean anyone will be sad if they know they have to seperate from their boyfriend even during his block leave.

Not to be selfish or what, if he is really going without me, I think I will most likely not sms or contact him and who knows what will happen when he comes back. I am not saying qi hua or whatever sorts here. You may think I am very selfish thinking this way. But come on, if you were me you will probably feel the same.

Talked to Shaoxun abt relationship related stuff. Apparently, according to him, we are on the rocks. That I agree. I feeel quite sick and tired with everything. The need to wait for a person, keeping by the phone, sharing. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life as now.
And nono, nothing happened between me and him. Really. I think its a ME thing. Maybe its just that I aint in a goood mood now, and may wanna retrieve whatever I say in a few hours time.
Somehow I would rather not get into anything. Feeling so sick over everything. The part whereby you have to wait, be 'enthu' about certain issues, get slipshort replies, me having to be the thinker for almost everything, not feeling secure, the thought of being able to be protected by a strong guy, but in the end, for most of the things, I always have to fight for it by myself. Everything by myself. Somehow I dont see a point needing a person to 'share' my life with me. I think I can very much carry on everything by myself.

As I say, I am not in a very sane mood now. So dont take whatever I say too hard. Lest anyone get hurt or whatever.
Random thoughts.