OH MY GOD ******. Im so jealous of you like nobody's business can!!

All the while you assumed that she didnt like you, end up leh. She likes you even more. OMG. No wonder she wanna tou pai ni! OMG OMG OMG. Im so happy for you la. OMG, I just cant believe what I see on msn. OMG OMG OMG. WAH!! OMG OMG OMG. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! GONG!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! Im so happy for you. Siao ar. Also not me, I so happy for what. But Im happy! HAHAHA. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG~~~

Ur sleepless nights, those tears you wept for her, has finally been paid for. This time round pls promise me that you will listen to your heart and not let your mind lead you.. I didnt expect it to be so sudden and fast. WOW.

OMG.

281206. Last day at DKKF. Oh wells. I will miss everyone la. Really. Esp Mag and EZAH. Learnt something from that aeroplane show. Humans always regret abt something after they have lost that particular something. Why must the human mind and heart function this way ar? Weird. I regretted not cherishing my time with them in the past, spending quality time tgt. Now everything will end in abt a few hours time.
Speaking abt regrets, I think Ive done many things that caused me to regret and hate myself like so totally hate myself. I was probably too naive bah in the past, within 2 months then kena what le. Can say that the process is kinda sweet cos I never what before. But through it I realised sth. And I finally understand why on TV, the parents always dun allow their children to marry to someone they only know for a few months- Simply put. They dunno each other well. And that few months are probably just the raging hormones period. So, if you manage to like your bf or gf or ur crush for 1 year and more ar before you guys get tgt. OH MANN. Thats provided its 2 sided la, I think things will work out well. HAHA. I read this from some magazine. So lame. Ok back to my nonsense. Somehow that matter has inflicted a deep wound in me and never seemed to be gone. For example when I go shopping and I go near Calvin Klein's counter and smell that cologne, GOD, Dont try talking to me, I will roar at people. Well, simply shows that Ive not forgeten everything bah.
Those places, Esplanade, HLM, Hougang Mall, Compasspoint, Airport, and that neighbourhood. OMG, I dun think I should go there bah, but I dun understand why it has become a hotspot for chums to visit. Actually I think that feeling is gone, those feelings that caught up with me are just simply hatred I guess? But I always believe: First come love then come hatred. So yah. There are some matters I hope I can tell my friends, but I dun think its very appropraite. I really dunno how to open my mouth abt certain issues, because I really dunno how to express it. I really wanna cry it all out, but I think its not worth if to do that for a person I dun like. So eventually I think I will just explode. One fine day, I will just explode.

Probably because I haven forgotten those lies you have inflicted in me. What you have done to me, really gross me out. And again I cant tell people, cos I just cant. I really feel damn horrible and gross out by the whole thing. And esp those lies... It really disappoints me up till now.

Chums must be thinking and assuming that this matter doesnt affect me anymore, and if they were to read this entry, they will be like:HUH~ Well, certain things certainly cant be erased away. I realised. Happy moments are normally forgotten by me, and I tend to only brood on the bad side of things, thats why Im always feeling so down about things. I think thats probably why. Anyway I certainly feel that nothing good ever happens to me, and Im not prepared for next year. New environment. Mixed school. Guys. OMG. I really dunno how to make friends now-> Something which everybody ASSUMES that Carian Tham is very good at doing cos I tend to crap. But whoever knows the fear in me whenever I approach someone? Probably Im just afraid of rejection. I hope and wish that I can get back my confidence level and my optimistic bubbly character like how I was when Im in Sec2 and Sec3. I tell you, the feeling of having friends surrounding you is good. Juniors coming to your class to give you things-> OMG. Screaming whenever your crush walks past your class, scream with friends. OMG. So childish yet fun! I will always remember Gf and I screaming when we saw Angel, Lingyi.. How my choir clique and I try to attract JL's attention, ok they are helping me to cos I think Im the only one liking her--'' My birthday when I was younger, I was practically dragging 4 big plastic bags home. ESP sec3, me and my friends went to meet him to get my birthday present, but only to get heartbroken on the very same day. LOL. So funny. Memories and more memories. I think all these requires a closure. A big closure.

Year2007.
I wanna be DAMN hardworking.
I wanna study my guts out like how I studied in Sec1 and 2.
Do my best in TJ choir.
Get back what I lost, my confidence, my popularity with people, my everything!
I will never allow relationship problems to affect me ever again. Even if it affects, I think I will be wiser. Open my eyes bigbig before I really love someone. WHAHAS.

I wanna see QUAN-like guys in TJ! HAHA. Dunno leh, people say that TJ got hunks la. REALLY MEH. I think VJ got more lor. Oh gosh kindee! You are so lucky to be there!! HAHAHA.
Yeah, and I just hope to be happier too.

Congrats to you gong.