Yest was quite a good day for me la. The happiest thing is that I get to meet up with my new friend Hazel after our tea party with Mr Kwei. He is so funny la, a middleage guy I met at Vj also. HE dyed his hair red and cut his hair short. He gave me this very cheeky smile which is suggested by Kenny that its prolly cos I went off or went too sharp when I sing, I dunno la. Just liddat la. Jiu shi zhe yang la.

Next week will be a busy week for me, tests and auditions, and really, I need my friends' prayers and encouragements, becos apparently my own family members dont really make me feel confident of myself at all. No encouragements no nothing, they want me to get THAT because they want me to get into a good school. Selfish aye? I really feel like telling them that I dunwanna study anymore after Sec4, but you know bloggy, Carian cant do that.

HEY YOU! Its true la, what you say is really true, somehow I feel that Im a loner, more like a drifter from my friends la, I dun seemed to be able to get along well with anyone, is it cos of my attitude? I just dun like to socialise at this period of time, and somehow I expect my friends to just like, be themselves, however they seem to have a wide and active social cycle, I really wonder how they manage to do it? Prolly cos I feel detached with the class? Im not cool, I dunno whats the latest news the latest trends? I dunno? I just dunno. I really find no energy and strength to socialise anymore. Im contented with my number of friends now.
My homing buddies cum family;
Gretchen sweets
Esther laogong, Wanling qingfu and Hazel nanny..
My GFdarl and Jaynepartner
Hazel (deyi) and bestie HJ--> OK THIS GIRL DIDNT CONTACT ME AT ALL! Ok la, she called but I refuse to ans so its my fault. I mean, she practically abandon me la, ok la, she busy la, maybe? Heck. WOW. Carian has so many friends. YESYES, Im just so contented and I dunno why.

Everyday after sch hurry pack bag meet family, all of us 2 by 2 walk home together, talk crap laugh and gossip. After a few min change "partners" talk and crap, ok la, I abit over, can hug Esther in the public and she always reject me la!): I mean, WOW, I think its so cool la. ER. What happen to me ar. In class nobody talk to me also nvm, got partner and darl, sometimes just hop over to Esther's table and start hugging her and molesting her again. HAH. Sometimes all of us will sit on the teacher's table to chat, scream across the class to ask all of them to come and chat. I mean. WOW. Im just so contented la.

But how long can this last? 2 months? 3 months at least? After that everything will just come to an end. I know I will leave them, nobody will get into the same sch as me. Ok, maybe they will, but thats if I made the correct choice. I dun wish to leave any of them. Imagine everyone having fun in the same JC and here am I far across the other part of the island studying..

I feel as though Ive no one to count on, nobody seemed to be there for me when Im down, yahlar, even if there are people there to hear me out, but its like, I wont wanna say, I dunno how to say. I feel so antisocial out of the sudden la, I wont be surprised one day I stop going down to the canteen and like, stay in class to mug. I mean, G you know what I mean abt this? Stop me if you see me doing this, Im afraid I will be liddat, I dunno, but Im very weird out of the sudden. Haiz.

Prelims are coming, and Im gonna be so lonely, everybody will be busy studying and after Os everybody will be planning on what to do after that, whereas I will be left alone, not knowing what to do. Ive to admit Im afraid of rejection, but somehow I feel that the probabilty of me feeling lonely after exams are 100/100. I hate silence, I hate rejection, I dunwan to even keep quiet for 10min. I like to be crazy and whacky, but somehow, these few days, I really have no energy to be liddat.

Cuz jie just asked me to help out with her blog, I tell you k, she wants me to help her put love song in her blog. Ive to like off my speakers while doing for her la, its like so sad, make me feel even more unwanted and poorthing la. HUHNAH! YOUR JASON LA! HAHA(: All the best k(:

Hp was abt to bao todae, msged 40+ LOL. Break record ever since I what, yeah. GOSH. I did something they will surely anger and make Hazel Tan jealous!! BESTIE! Guess what?? I smsed your shuai shuai shuai ge OWEN!! HAHA. He asked me if Im the DEYI girl la. GOSH. HE must have liked you la Bestie! Then I asked him if he likes you ar? How come ask then ask for you, NOT ME!? Hello, Plmgss? Sounds nicer! LALALA` JK LA!(:
Then we sms and I asked him for his age! LOL. Guess what bestie? He is older then us! And he lives with his guardian and I think he is very rich, I mean hello? Mixed blood, from Indonesia and somemore chinese la! My mum told me this kinda people very dangerous, cos Indonesian chinese very rich then they very hua hua gong zi! So bestie! Must be careful k(: OH HE SAID STH TO ME THAT WILL MAKE YOU VERY VERY JEALOUS! HAHA(: He said this: BLAHBLAHBLAH Very nice to meet you, and like Sa's motto, its not by chance! GOSH! SO SWEET RIGHT? I tell you, you see my hp le, you will confirm cry and scream at me! HAHA. My hp is full of his sms!!! HAHA(: Shall ask him out one day k, then I drag you along, NONO. WE should ask him out one day and DOUPAI him! YESYES! HAH, I finally know why you like him le. He is damn gentleman la! GOSH.

MY NEXT TARGET FOR JULY IS TO GET HIS EMAIL! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA:D

Student councellor, sectional leader(: *SCREAMS!!*

GOSH HAZEL! IM GONNA DIE SOON! One day shall invite you to my house and lets like, erm, PRANK CALL HIM! YESYES! GOSH HE IS SO CUTE!!!

I remember yest, Hazel and I was like looking ut for handsome guys at Aj, sorry ar, dun have and Im totally not interested in them la, cos someone else is soooooo much cuter la((: *TRIPLE SCREAMS!!* Then we were like giving each other nods and shaking our head when we see any guys ard us. HAHA. Nod means HANDSOME! Shake means, you know what la. HAHA. So funny. Then I saw Owen, I thought he was very very very irritating, he can talk to like anyone he sees la. Thruout the whole thing, he is talking nonstop la! To this girl! LOL. Hazel and I was concentrating on the president of the choir, HAHA. She told me he is cute, I was like YAHYAHYAH! I tot only I think so la! GOSH! She and I totally have the same taste pls! After the audition the president chased after me to tell me abt the results thing. GOSH! HE RAN AFTER ME! CHASED! HAHA. RUBBISH. Hazel was unaware abt the results thing, why ar? LOL. After that we dun care abt the pres le, I was over there praying and thinking of who to call to calm my nerves, HAZEL AR! Looking at boys la. BLAHBLAHBLAH! Then we got the results and went to the MRT station, we met Owen there. Gosh, I actually talked to him? I mean, Carian have nv talked to any boys for 4 years le, except for Benedict and kenny and my boy cuz la. Before we leave, I asked him for his number? GOD, where did I even get the guts mann. And he said ok!? WOW. So cool, and I smsed him todae! LOL. HAZEL!!! IM SORRY! We were suppose to do that together I know! SORRY LA. And I think I kinda wasted his money la. Sms so much. I waste so many people's money la!): Ok la, I didnt sms him alot today, as in, someone else la. LOL. 40 PLUS!?? GOD, I cant believe it. Nono, its 60 plus after I count again. GOSH! Ok, I wont sms someone I dunno in future le..

Hazel, thats very kind of you to wait for me at the busstop yesterday, as in travel from Yio Chu Kang to my school then back to Yio Chu Kang again. Thanks babe. I will never forget all our talk and hearttoheart talks on the bus, but somehow I think you are very angry with me now. I didnt know that matter will affect you so much, but I hope it wont affect us k! As in, haiz, I feel so sad partly cos you didnt reply me and you give me that attitude. I hope you will get that letter too! If its cos of the letter thing, I rather I throw it away k(: I dunwan it to affect us! HAZEL TAN ZHI WEN!!!! AHHHHH! Im so crazy over you now. HAIZ.